Sunday, July 18, 2010

highlights of first derby practice

originally posted January 2010

Wheee!  I am back from my very first roller derby practice ever!  You are so lucky they never managed to perfect the smell-o-vision technology because I worked hard and I am sweaty!

A quick review of what I learned in practice about derby and about myself:

* Roller derby doesn't believe in personal space.  It's going to be a battle to fight thirty years of bubble socialization.

* I am round, therefore I roll.  And roll.  And maybe come to a stop when the friction of my helmet against the rink floor overcomes my momentum.

* The easiest way to stop is to fall down.  The easiest way to stop someone else is to make them fall down.

* Fear is worse than doing. 

* I am a superb obstacle.  One day I shall use my talent for good.

* Being whipped is a fantastic feeling.

* My wheels are like skating in treacle.  When Roller Girl, the Vancouver company I bought my skates from, told me they were giving me 'slow' wheels I was all happy, but now I can't friggin' keep up. 

* Derby ladies are about the nicest bunch of bitches ever.

I will check in tomorrow when the endorphins wear off and the pain and muscle stiffness set in.  Right now, though, I can't wait for next practice!

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