break is over, time to get back to the fun

Tonight was my first practice since the end of August.  Our league has been on a break of sorts while we made improvements to our skating space.  Now we have, oh, two and a half weeks until our next game.  Some observations:

My ass fell

Sometime during the break my booty drooped.  While it takes a bit to build up muscle, it goes to hell quickly when you stop using it.  I knew it was happening, but when I put on my practice shorts I realized I had a major butt slide going on. 

It hurts picking my ass back up again

Roller skating really does use muscles that remain hidden and underutilized (with the exception of long distance swimmers and strippers).  I have sore muscles right now just from skating.  My thighs, my calves, my poor droopy ass, all of it hurts.  This is something I haven't felt since I started derby and I am going to keep it in mind at the next fresh meat practice I run.  Freshies don't need as much resistance training as more experienced players to make leaps and bounds in improvments.  Just coming to practice is a major muscle workout.  Roller derby changes you.  And change, even good change, can be painful. 

Garsh, I really missed this shit

Until tonight I was unsure if I wanted to play in the next game.  I've got my hands full planning our fresh meat program and would like to learn the reffing now too, so I thought I'd maybe take a little break from being an active player.  I figured it might be nice to not be over-obligated and not have to make so many practices.  But, getting out on the track tonight I remembered all the things I love about this sport: skating, being pushy, getting knocked down and getting back up even stronger. 

Almost two years ago I was so close to letting my fear stop me from going to my very first practice.  I thought I was too out of shape (I was).  I thought I was too timid (I was and I still am sometimes).  I thought I was too old (yep there too, and getting even more so).  I thought that they were going to laugh at me (they did, but they let me skate anyway).  But with that first time I realized that perhaps I am not made for this sport physically, I am mentally.  Got tenacity and lack the good sense to stay down?  Welcome to roller derby!  The muscles and endurance will eventually catch up.  I've really been damn lucky to have all the opportunities to play that I have so far.

And, hot damn, scrimmage tomorrow night!

My fallen arse and me will probably get kicked pretty badly, but I'm feeling pretty grateful to just be able to play.  No injuries, no hang ups.  The only thing keeping me back is myself and my own sore butt.  But, I've been getting good at stepping out of my own way and juking my fears.  Derby has both showed me that I have a streak of determination and strengthened it with practice.  Right now, what scares me more than having derby take up too much of my life is having my ass stay down and refuse to get up.  Literally and literally.