Tuesday, September 28, 2010

congrats, it's a derby girl

A couple of new things from tonight.

First, I wore my knee gaskets for the first time.  They are beautiful!  Almost a religious experience.  I have a perpetual bruise about 5 inches in diameter on my kneecap, that I re-inflame every practice, and tonight, well, it was like landing knees first on a marsh mellow.  Knee gaskets = good.

Second, I'm fairly certain that derby cured my head cold, at least temporarily.  I didn't even want to go because I was feeling like a bag of smashed assholes.  But, after merciless teasing from The Man (C'mon!  You're a tough derby girl, aren't you?  Don't be such a pussy!), I went to derby, just to get away from him.  And my head felt clear and good all night long.  So, there you go.  Derby = cure to common cold.

Third, I had to explain to The Man tonight how I ended up with another man's scratches on my back.  See, I've always maintained that the most dangerous thing about roller derby* is news presenters that show up once a month or so, put on roller skates - often for the first time ever - and then get on the track.  A presenter is just another word for speed bump, bless their brave little hearts.  Tonight, I was once again proven right as the speed bump from the CBC was going down in a jam and made a grab for the closest thing to try to steady himself.  That was me.  At least he didn't actually rip my shirt off.

Anything else?  Oh, yeah, almost forgot.  I popped my derby cherry tonight.  Not a full out bout, a full dress scrimmage, but it was as close to derby as I've gotten so far.  And, as the coach reassured me, I didn't suck, so I consider it a successful entry into the world of actually playing derby.  Finally.  After practicing for nine months, I finally had me a scrimmage baby.  

* Okay, The Man just pointed out to me that I previously said that the most dangerous one on the track is the rookie, simply because we get in the way and are fairly unpredictable, not knowing what the fuck is going on and all.  But, other than the rookie, media people playing at rollergirl are also very dangerous, mainly for the same reason.  Still, nobody wants the rookies or the media to go away, so I guess that's why we all wear helmets.  

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