tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-90628921811909702982024-03-15T18:12:37.968-07:00Pick a CheekCharity Indietuteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13517919253368724623noreply@blogger.comBlogger75125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9062892181190970298.post-64488306971854133562023-07-19T13:01:00.002-07:002023-07-19T13:13:33.488-07:00A Parent’s Brief Foray into Roller Derby Officiating<p> BONJOUR!</p><p>What follows is an open letter I sent to my fellow parents of the 2023 Team Canada Jr roller derby players. Did I mention I am the parent of a Team Canada Jr roller derby player? Y'all, the last blog post here is EIGHT YEARS ago. </p><p>Things have happened.</p><p>If you are curious about said Team Canada Jr roller derby player, my dottir of many names, you can find:<br /><a href="https://www.instagram.com/713rennie/" target="_blank">Rennie's Instagram here</a><br /><a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/rollerderby?fbclid=IwAR1vGdPFnRuHB7ISUf-EmV1sXz4Vngyx1zzQO_1Y-iqGn2J56eLWqcx4jrM" target="_blank">Buy my Team Canada Jr skater a croissant here</a> </p><p>____________________________________________________<br />This open letter was written <span style="font-size: large;">For Parents by A Parent</span>, to facilitate understanding of the roles of officials in derby, and address some questions and comments I have received while officiating junior games over the past six months of preparation. </p><p></p><p style="text-align: left;">For myself, I have been officiating on and off since 2012-ish (you can check the archives here, it probably has that information) and became much more intentional in 2019 when dottir Rennie was rostered on the 2020 Team Canada Jr. I thought it would <span style="font-size: medium;">be lovely</span> to be able to <span style="font-size: medium;">earn my keep</span> as I accompanied Rennie to Worlds. </p>As it all happened, 2020 was cancelled, and now 2023 is here and <span style="font-size: medium;">Rennie and I are both off to France to participate in the </span><span style="font-size: large;">Junior World Cup</span> July 28-30. Rennie as a player and myself as an official. <p></p><p>But here is the open letter now, for those parents, grandparents, assorted family and friends who will be watching their loved one compete in a sport on an international stage they barely are cognizant of before a couple months ago. <span style="font-size: medium;">Roller derby</span> is a strategically and tactically <span style="font-size: medium;">wild ride</span> and very much about the skaters. <span style="font-size: large;">We do not make it easy for spectators</span>. Perhaps this can shine a little light on what the heck the referees are doing.<br /><br />DISCLAIMER BEFORE THE DISCLAIMER: I am leaving the original letter more or less as I wrote it in May 2023, it is a document that exists in a certain time and towards a particular audience, and I reserve the right to change my mind, realize and clarify mistakes and to double down on any opinion I may have expressed below. Who knows how I will feel in a year, but for now, this seems like a reasonable and instructional document. <span style="font-size: large;">Thank you for joining me here. </span><br /><br />*****************************************************************************</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">What follows is an introductory discussion of how roller
derby referees go about officiating a game of roller derby.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is not about roller derby rules per se,
but how officials see the game and the role they play, given from the
perspective of a parent who is also a referee, junior coach and player. The goal is to clarify the game structure and
officiating for parents* of skaters and share the foundation of game structure
and the enforcement of fair game play. Please note that these are my words and
understanding and not in any endorsed by WFTDA or JRDA. If you stridently disagree with anything here,
you can definitely let me know – one time, with respect – but this is my
personal reflections shared for educational purposes and the final say on
absolutely nothing. </p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br />
It is a very good idea for all parents alongside their young athletes to
familiarize themselves with the rulebook and, equally important, the casebook.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not every aspect of the rules will be of
equal importance to know as a player and as someone who supports that player,
but look around and get to know the language and structure of the rules.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Review in small portions at a time but make
it regular part of the roller derby experience.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Travelling to derby is one excellent time to crack open the casebook and
read through a couple of examples.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<br />
First thing to know is that roller derby is an ever – and rapidly – changing
sport.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Roller Derby of 2010ish, when I attended
my first practice, had a spirit that feels similar to today in its grassroots,
community minded inclusivity but also so different in that it had strong ties
to counter culture and distinctly appreciative of the more performative aspects.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>See the primacy of nom de guerres, or
tough/saucy derby names.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In 2010, all
defense was one-on-one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There were no walls,
never mind tripod defense. It was skate fast and take wild swings at each other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Rockabilly, fishnets, and knee socks were only
just starting to slip away as the primary aesthetic of roller derby but the
afterparty was still the main thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There
was plenty of athleticism and passion for the sport but, admittedly, it wasn’t
a very good place for junior skaters.<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Since then, roller derby has gone through a terrific number
of gameplay and rules evolutions, become smarter, more skilled, more
strategic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Still plenty of tattoos and
derby names, but as skaters and parents we are proud to bring our children to
derby, to feel like we are a positive influence on young athletes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Roller derby as a sport exists with a core
value of inclusion and growth, which reflects in its changing rule sets and
culture.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have grown to not just
recognize the intrinsic power and skills the youth are bringing, but to value
them as equal participants in the evolution of the sport. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, the youth are now leading the
direction roller derby is taking.<br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In that spirit, JRDA rules are WFTDA rules plus a little bit
more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Over the past two decades, the WFTDA
rules have changed from being a punitive system of ‘Do This, Don’t Do That’ to officiating
being ‘Impact’ based. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would like to
talk more about what impact means to officials in a moment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But first, a brief overview of the structure of
a level 3 game (being a discussion with Team Canada parents, it’s best to stay
focused here). <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<br />
Over all, it’s very good to remember that officials are there to oversee the framework
of the game, the flow and ensure that it happens fairly, with safety and
respect to all involved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Skating
officials and NSOs define the game time, the start and end, keep the time, the
score, see that both teams are abiding by the rules of roller derby.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Officials mind the flow of the game and time,
the personal safety and dignity of all involved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are many aspects to officiating, but we
will be focusing today on the most visible and probably, misunderstood, part of
a referee’s job: issuing penalties.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In particular any game there are, ideally, seven skating
officials.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Each jammer on track has a personal
JAM REFEREE companion that follows them about counting points (again, penalties
are only one task amongst many), two INSIDE PACK REFEREES that define the pack
structure and observe the game from inside and three OUTSIDE PACK REFEREES (who
supply the inside and jam refs with information and oversee gameplay on the far
side of the track where inside officials cannot see).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Each referee has tasks singular to their
position and view the game from a specific point of view.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Any ref can make any call (mostly) but they
are positioned as such that they better suited to see some types of actions (and
infractions) better than others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This
means teamwork and consistent standards between refs is important, since they
have to rely on one another to monitor the entire game.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Officials
use systems of communication between each other both standardized by the rules calls,
verbal cues, whistles, hand signals and more informal systems of gestures,
sharing quick words and, sometimes, meaningful glances.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<br />
Before a ref will call penalty, they will be reasonably confident that they saw
the beginning, middle and end of the action.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Putting a skater in the box, particularly a jammer, can change a game
and officials need to be certain that a penalty is warranted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>An action that an official does not feel they
have enough information about can have their working information supplemented
by another official who did have eyes on the action.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By the nature of the game, however, referees
do not often have time to have a consultation with one another over thousands
of physical player interactions that take place over the course of a single
game.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Obviously, there will be some
actions that will have more impact on the game than others, and these ones are
important for coaches and players to consider – did the action take place over
a length of track, was the action rotational or happened towards the center of
the track, with bodies potentially obscuring the view from any single
official?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is one good use of an
official review, in that it brings the officials together to discuss what they
witnessed, and the piecing together of a complex action may might be done.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At that point the action can be assessed for
legality and if any penalty (or removal of a penalty) is warranted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<br />
If you see a zebra huddle right after a big action, especially an injury, you
can be reasonably sure they are checking with each other to ensure they are in
agreeance in what happened.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Any
penalties determined to be relevant will be issued at that point, before the
next jam begins.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">A quick note about penalties issued between jams: a referee
will not blow a whistle to issue an early or late hit, or a call coming in
after the four whistles.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The penalty
whistle would confuse and disrupt the game flow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Typically, the official will get a skater’s
attention, verbalize colour, number and penalty with accompanying hand
signals.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Skater will need to report to
the box immediately.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></p>
<h1>Penalties basically come in three flavours:<o:p></o:p></h1>
<p class="MsoNormal">Illegal contact: <br />
either by blocking an illegal contact zone like the back or lower leg, or by
using an illegal blocking zone like the lower leg or forearm.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Also includes multiplayers or being out of
play, out of bounds when contact is made.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Basically, somebody did something physically that affected fair game
play.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>JRDA further binds contact with
skill-based levelled play.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Illegal procedure: <br />
an area where advantage is gained outside of the game boundaries, including the
physical track boundary (such as cut tracks) and the dynamic boundaries and
structures like the pack (which changes continuously but with it, literally,
roller derby cannot happen), the number and types of players on the track and
time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This includes breaking the pack,
failing to make a pack when there is none, being in the wrong spot when the jam
starts (false start, not in bounds) and anything that interferes with the game
flow.**<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Unsporting Conduct: <br />
or misconduct, in which the safety and respect of all participants in the game
(includes skaters, bench staff, officials, volunteers and spectators –
basically anybody in the venue) is taken into consideration.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These penalties do not need to done with
intention, such as often an insubordination call when a player fails to leave
the track directly and immediately when issued a penalty (resulting in a whole
minute in the box).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Other penalties
include that which come from contact that is considered unexpected and/or
especially hazardous in roller derby, such as leaping contact (example, the
apex jump into opposing players***), or aggressive, threatening or hostile
language directed towards an individual or generally considered to lack respect
for the sport.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>JRDA rules are very clear
that disrespectful behavior from non-player participants is included here and
can result in penalized skaters.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Check
the JRDA Code of Conduct for specifics, as it is applicable to all in
attendance including spectators.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some spectator
behaviors normalized in other sports is not acceptable at JRDA events (this
includes profanity and cheering that includes directives to harm other skaters,
such as Get Them, Hit Them, and the such.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Penalties are mainly called by referees but a Non-Skating
Official penalty box manager can issue a misconduct to a skater who enter the
box in an unsafe manner, putting box officials in danger or distracting them
from effectively performing their job. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Heading1Char"><span style="font-size: 16pt; line-height: 107%;">Considering Impact: Is it actually a penalty?</span></span><br />
I am going to narrow the discussion down to contact penalties for the moment,
since this is an area that seems to generate the most confusion during the game
as to why penalties are Not issued.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>First, contact to an illegal target zone or with an illegal blocking
zone not in itself cause enough to result in a penalty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The existence of forearms touching opposing
players and moments where players have linked their arms are not singularly to
be judged as something to important enough to send a player to the box.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The illegal action must have Impact on the
game.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A quick imperfect guideline is,
was the illegal action successful?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Did
it have an impact in the game?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<br />
Impact is not just sort of a personal judgement by officials, the criteria is
defined as illegal contact that puts an opponent significantly off balance, out
of bounds, changes their direction or speed, OR allows the skater who made
contact to stay in bounds or upright when they would have gone out or down
otherwise (think grabbing an opposing player’s jersey to stop oneself from
falling).<br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Impact assessment does not stop at the players involved in
the initial action however, it also includes any teammate who gained advantage
through the use of an illegal action.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<br />
There are some very good examples of this in the casebook and all of this is
best clarified by in person discussion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>In writing right now I could either go on for days or just summarize by
saying: read the casebook.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>OR, if the
timing is right, ask a ref.<br />
<br />
<span class="Heading1Char"><span style="font-size: 16pt; line-height: 107%;">Discretion/Metrics</span></span>
<br />
Although Impact as a criteria has a defined meaning, referee discretion is an
important part of modern officiating.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
is an ongoing discussion and by no means an uncontroversial one (there are
other roller derby organizations with different rulesets that do not allow
impact to be a factor), but with the WFTDA asks that an illegal action be
impactful before being penalized (with some safety exceptions) and is up to the
official’s assessment if Impact was observed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There is much to talk about here and I would be happy to discuss in
person, but generally the main thrust is for officials to educate themselves
and other officials, and gain tons of experience, on the use of discretion on
whether to call a penalty in favour of allowing gameplay to flow as smoothly as
possible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<br />
Refs back in the day were discouraged from studying strategy, thinking that not
seeing the intention more objective, but the opposite is true now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Refs are encouraged to go to practices, study
the sport, understand the strategies the teams are attempting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This greater depth of understandings allows
them to focus on the appropriate areas and better understand what they are
looking at. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A brilliant thing is Not
making a call on a player using their upper arms (legal blocking zone), for
instance, even though their forearm (illegal blocking zone) is close to the
action.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Roller derby continues to
progress this way, when officials do not automatically penalize novel
strategies and techniques.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This doesn’t
mean that refs gloss over illegal actions, it means that sufficient impact
needs to be observed because over penalizing normal roller derby action and
constantly sending players to the box for illegal actions that do not overly
affect the game is not desirable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Officials allow roller derby to happen, they do not attempt to overly control
or penalize it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<br />
Which is to bring up yet another important aspect to being a referee, and
especially working with other referees, is that each official has their own
Metric for deciding what is roller derby and what is not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For instance, inside pack refs - who define
the pack - it’s easy to see when an official has a spongier metric than one who
uses a tighter one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Since the action
cannot be stopped to bring a tape measure out and the pack measured, each
individual official has their best understanding of how far 10 feet is and that
is their personal metric.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The important
thing for the players involved is that the metric applied by the official is
consistent so they can make adjustments within any single game and feel that it
is being applied to both teams equally.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Personal metrics exist for all referees, because human, and the best
attempts at fairness and consistency is made.<br />
<br />
<span class="Heading1Char"><span style="font-size: 16pt; line-height: 107%;">Who
are these refs anyway?</span></span><br />
For crews that are made up of refs from different places, and do not work with
each other all the time, these individual metrics will be a point of verbal
discussion and exploration amongst each other before and during the game.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The idea is for all officials to bring their
own personal metric to be closer to medium of the whole crew so there is an
overall consistency.<br />
<br />
For worlds, the crews will remain together throughout the event, so that they
can get to know each other, learn each other’s communications, and tighten up
their own crew metric and understanding.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The crew being consistent and confident in each other is important for
your tournament organizers and the head officials involved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, the crews are already introduced to
one another, and are sharing personal information about their credentials and,
most importantly, pictures of their pets.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Much thought and intention is being given to the officiating at worlds,
all the planning, discussions, training, preparation that can be done.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The skaters will be in the best hands
possible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<br />
Which brings us to the official who actually has and firmly upholds a very
different understanding of an aspect of the game than the rest of the crew. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes officials are wrong about something
and it is appropriate to question it. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However,
adjustments are not as simple as telling an official to do it different.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Small variations in metrics or even incorrect
calls may not be noticed by officials because of the different positioning and
distinctive areas of responsibility.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In
a high level game, if I the ref am busy trying to monitor another official’s
performance, I stand a chance of not taking care of my job, thereby compounding
a situation and putting players at additional risk.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By the nature of the game, someone outside of
the working officiating crew may need to notice what is happening and there is
standard and respectful protocols for doing so.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Officials are aware that they make mistakes despite best efforts,
because human, and they are highly attuned to the fact that that their actions
are under great scrutiny.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Trust me, we
are given performance reviews often.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Official
reviews, the 30 seconds between jams, the captain’s meetings before, middle and
end of game are all opportunities teams have to bring up officiating concerns.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some games are lucky enough to have an
alternate official who can observe the overall officiating and gameplay and
bring specific issues, better seen from outside, to the working officials. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<br />
Before I leave this section, I just want to point out one more aspect of the
unique viewpoint and impact that is not immediately evident to spectators or
players.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While the audience sees what is
happening of course, the proximity to the action is important to be able to help
define who started it and where it landed. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bodies are better doors than windows, and the
line between a clean hit and a back block is not easily defined sometimes, even
among officials.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or there is another
body in the action behind that is obscured from the front.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The errant skate that causes a fall.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It takes a good view clear view and officials
spend a lot of time making sure they are in the right place to see the contact.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Which does not mean the outside viewer is
wrong, just that there may be more factors in play that is hidden from them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span class="Heading1Char"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">Late
calls</span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
A penalty can be issued at any point during the jam and up until the start of
the next jam, which means the call being made might not be directly connected
to action taking place.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That is a
frustrating situation for a skater and an official can help clarify
understanding by adding ‘late call’ to their verbal call, but that does not
always happen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why a penalty may come
late has a variety of reasons, sometimes official need a moment to put it
together, not wanting to make kneejerk calls or they needed a moment to check
with another ref to be fully confident on the call.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The game allows officials to take that time
if they require.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes players do novel
things that take time to process.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes
a player makes a move so brazen and wild that an official can doubt their own
reality. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Did that just happen?! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These skaters are so very skilled and
powerful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They do amazing things and innovate
on the spot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is far better to give
the officials the time to check their understanding than to demand they make a
decision immediately.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fewer penalties,
better roller derby.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<br />
Which is to say that officials put much thought, training, experience and a heavy
feeling of responsibility to make sure things are safe, fair, and
enjoyable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I encourage all spectators,
coaches and parents of skaters to also make a habit of also engaging in that
reflective process, especially when speaking to junior athletes about their
games, and criticisms of the officiating is made. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do hope everyone (except the officials) gets
to cheer and yell during a game.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is
supposed to be fun. Questioning and analyzing the officiating is part of
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Respectfully.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<br />
Refs are and should be open to scrutiny, they are not above critique, they make
mistakes, they sometimes make bad calls, or they have a bad day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Feedback to officials is a regular and
necessary part of the game structure for just this reason.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s also true that some errors can not be
fixed in a single game and may take some time after, officiating
education.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just as no one skater shows
up on the first day knowing everything, same for officials.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With patience and understanding we can keep
games moving, keep everyone safe, gaining experience, and have continue to
evolve this sport.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">On a similar vein, refs have much they can speak on about
the game and have valuable unique insight into skater’s gameplay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If any skater has questions, they can approach
an official after the game and ask questions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>At this stage, I encourage going through or with the coaches to approach
an official.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>An official in stripes has
some structure protocols of behavior so do not be offput by seemingly distant
language, but all officials are there because they LOVE this sport and want to
support the skaters.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are there
making gameplay safe and fair and no official operates with intention to frustrate
or punish a skater.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There may be a
disagreement on the specifics of a skill or play, but that is conversation that
goes both ways.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<br />
Myself and other parent/officials will be available this Calgary weekend to
field questions and discusses whatever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
are friendly people who have seen things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>If anyone likes we can set a formal time for a Q and A and address the
million or so things I decided to omit because this was long enough, or just go
ahead whenever and ask. We will make time. <br />
<br />
As parents, we are highly invested in the success of these specific skaters and
the Canadian teams, obviously, and feeling frustrated or confused with
officiating is not a good use of anyone’s time and energy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also think that the more one understands
about the game - the structures, rules, what the ref signals mean - the more
enjoyable spectating is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Knowing how the
refs work will help everyone focus on what actually matters: the athletes and
cheering them on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">-Mal<br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>* A ‘parent’ here is meant to be any
parent, guardian, junior coach or influential adult in a junior skater’s life
that will be speaking in a meaningful sense with the skater about a game. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">**Sometimes, such as when a team simply fails to show up at
the start of the jam, no one specific skater can be deemed responsible, so the
team captain will serve a penalty as a blocker for the team.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>JRDA also has some modifications here,
allowing level one skaters accommodations regarding pack definition,
recognizing that skill level and avoiding contact is an important criteria for
levelled play.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">***All these potentials are penalized with the same 30
seconds in the box, but some penalties can be elevated into an expulsion (being
removed from the game) if they are deemed especially dangerous or
unsporting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The one I see most often is
an apex or straipex jump that makes uninitiated contact with an opponent’s
illegal target zone (head, feet, back), meaning the skater’s jump resulted in
contact with an opposing skater that did not move into their position during
the jump (indicating that they were not intending to initiate contact or block
the jumper).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The contact does not need
to have knocked down the skater as leaping contact is considered unsporting
(rules say a skate must be on the ground to initiate contact) and impacts to
heads and back are considered dangerous.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The safety of all skaters is of upmost importance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Please know that no expulsion happens without
a discussion with the officials and the head referee is the only one who can
make the final call.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is an
excellent area to spend some times looking at the rules and chatting informally
with officials about, as not wanting to punish apex jumping – a beloved aspect
of our sport – but also needing to consider safety is an ongoing discussion at
large.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></p>Charity Indietuteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13517919253368724623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9062892181190970298.post-56064357001779978132015-08-08T12:11:00.003-07:002015-08-08T12:11:46.212-07:00Surprise. I live.Even bigger shocker, I still play derby. I know, having not posted for two years, it seemed likely that I had gone the way of most of the people who have tried and played derby and quietly, resentfully, hung up my skates due to that dark force called <span style="font-size: large;">Real Life Responsibilities.</span> Ha. I've had a lot of time experience in dodging the adulting; it's unlikely to get at me at this stage in the game.<br />
<br />
For the past two years I've had very little to say about the sport of roller derby or adult athletics. <span style="font-size: large;">Publicly, at least.</span> So I have been quiet here. Derby, for myself, is an inward journey of discovery. Or, if that seems a bit breezy, derby is my narcissistic preoccupation with awkward and painful activities in which I can't seem to win and must spend lots of money on.<br />
<br />
Roller derby. Don't talk to me about roller derby.<br />
<br />
But not posting so much is really okay. Reading back over some posts on <i>Pick a Cheek</i> here to <span style="font-size: large;">familiarize myself with me</span>, I noticed a stunning lack of change in attitude and environment over the past years. Though the jerseys and locations have changed, derby is just as hard, overwhelming, awkward and exhilarating today as it was five years ago. I love my derby people as much as I want to throttle them. Same old, same old. <br />
<br />
What is new, though, right now, is this funny thing my league is trying. It's called an off-season and it's incredible. We have two months off of practicing and playing and it's the first time I've not derby skated for that amount of time. Which doesn't mean I haven't done league work or recreational skates, watched footage, attended meetings and socials, and even helped lead a practice with other league, but still. <span style="font-size: large;">Still. </span> Relatively speaking, this has been derby free time.<br />
<br />
So I've been trying some new stuff. MMA fitness classes for one. Super fun. And I turned <span style="font-size: large;">forty years old</span>. Not so much fun but, despite my efforts, it was unavoidable.<br />
<br />
At this age in the game, with a little breathing space of an off-season, naturally I've got a few questions for myself about this derby thing and how it's working for me. Y'know, <i>overall.</i> Even more than my usual calls to defend myself against queries about why I do something that I am just so not naturally suited for. (As if not being awesome at something is a reason to not do it.) <br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Long dark tea-time of the derby soul </span>sort of stuff.<br />
<br />
How do I measure personal success in this sport? If I went by sheer player ranking, I would of chucked my skates and settled down the couch with a truckload of bon bons a long time ago. So would ninety-five percent of the skaters. Obviously, we have worth beyond being the best of the best of the best.<br />
<br />
Health wise, derby has taken my downhill rush and angled it towards a much brighter future. Mentally and physically. The only thing that terrifies my husband more than me perpetually playing derby is me not playing derby. Because that is <span style="font-size: large;">a dark spiral of badness</span> for my body and my brain. Sport keeps me healthy, yo.<br />
<br />
How about growing the sport in general and supporting the community? Well, ahem, I feel I've done my share and, sparing you the gritty details, I will give myself a<span style="font-size: large;"> little check mark </span>for that. Besides helping to ensure derby exists for myself and my community, I also have a girl child who lives and breaths for skating and her derby buds who looks forward to many years of derby derby derby. <br />
<br />
On that side note, derby has been incredibly affirming for my children. Not lacking in complications or the occasional problem, of course, but within this sport both my junior player child and non-player child have found supportive community. For my girl, in particular, <span style="font-size: large;">growing up in derby</span> has provided a wealth of positive real life role models. Okay, smelly, foul-mouthed role models, yes, but who are also <span style="font-size: large;">strong, capable, and demonstrate self worth.</span> I like that when asked who her heroes are, my daughter will name real women that she knows personally, as opposed to movie or pop stars that are recited all too often. Though, technically speaking, she's also name book characters, so we'll not get too gaspy about all this.<br />
<br />
Health, community and positive role models are pretty good, but I think that to determine if this sport thing is successful and worth it for me, I'm going to fall back less empirical notion of personal progress. By degrees, being <span style="font-size: large;">better and better each day</span>. Since change is inevitable, all things impermanent, I would like to focus my effort on channeling change in directions I choose. Mastery of my own fate and so on. And I'm not talking just about improving my derby play, oh no. That's really sort of the lowest measure. The question is,<span style="font-size: large;"> is derby instrumental in helping me be a better person? </span><br />
<br />
As noted above, on the most fundamental level for me derby hasn't changed all that much over the years. It's like this endless loop (moving counter clock-wise) of <span style="font-size: large;">challenge and duty.</span> Admittedly, I'm in a pretty good spot right now. I love where I'm at and who is with me, but the nitty gritty of running a league, practicing and playing has had me splashing about in the same murky pool for five years now. Without something drastic, like <span style="font-size: large;">the invention of time travel</span>, perhaps, or the introduction of <span style="font-size: large;">portals in space</span> that can be used legally in game play (damn, how cool would that be?), I can foresee the derby will be the derby as I know it for the time being.<br />
<br />
I try to keep my mindset, though, on <span style="font-size: large;">learning from every angle I can</span>. Meetings teach me patience and to listen to others. Practice helps me become stronger mentally as well as physically. Recruiting and promotions keep me in touch with the greater community and encountering new people. Watching new skaters grow confident and overcome their own personal obstacles is inspiring. Challenges are always opportunities for personal growth and, yes, derby supplies plenty of challenges.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">So I guess it's all worth it.</span><br />
<br />
Now hold up, I hear you say, given that it is a mindset of growth that makes the activity valuable, wouldn't almost any activity that provided physical challenge and other people actually teach the same lessons? Isn't it the desire to learn and improve is what is useful, not derby itself? <br />
<br />
Yup. <span style="font-size: large;">It doesn't have to be derby.</span> <br />
<br />
In fact, I do derby <span style="font-size: large;">because I like it</span>. I could do other things too. And I may, if I want to. In the meanwhile, this is still a pretty fun way to spend my Saturday night. <span style="font-size: x-small;">And Monday night. And Thursdays. <span style="font-size: xx-small;">And Sunday afternoon...</span></span><br />
<br />
Charity Indietuteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13517919253368724623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9062892181190970298.post-84369436275166217772013-07-09T21:53:00.001-07:002013-07-09T21:53:22.155-07:00adult onset athleticsToday I did our travel team's version of the Filthy Fifty they used as a fitness measure for their tryouts and ongoing as a friendly competition between teammates.<br />
<br />
In twenty minutes I did:<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
50 burpees</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
50 squats</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
50 lunges</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
50 push ups</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
50 sit ups</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
50 tuck jumps</div>
<br />
And then I went downstairs to my basement where my washer and dryer are to <span style="font-size: large;">do as much laundry as possible</span> because I know my legs are going to <span style="font-size: large;">seize up tomorrow</span> and I won't be able to get up and down those stairs for a few days.<br />
<br />
I need to be practical. I've had experience with this.<br />
<br />
I know I've talked about this a few times here already but I am still sort of shocked that I reached my mid-thirties before I managed to find something that I could do to help me be more fit. Coming from a non-athletic background, I was a little surprised that it turned out to be a sport (on wheels!) that became the workout I could stick to.<br />
<br />
And then at some point, I started working out so I could play the sport. <br />
<br />
Sneaky, roller derby, very sneaky.<br />
<br />
I can't talk about how I rank against other athletes in sport. I still feel weird about thinking of myself as an athlete. There is a whole spectrum of bodies and fitness levels and I have found it to be quite self-destructive to get all judgey and compare myself to others. It's so easy to think that a person who is lapping you in burpees has some sort of natural burpee gift, comparable to super strength or long eyelashes, and was granted to her by the gods for good deeds done in a past life. Or for having a famous father. <br />
<br />
But there is no such thing as a burpee gift. If it was true, it would be a good enough reason to just toss in the
towel in this life, spending the rest of it making sacrifices to the
gods to be granted <span style="font-size: large;">the gift of easy burpees</span> the next time around. <br />
<br />
More likely than a gift from the gods, you are seeing a culmination of sweat, good eating habits, and dedication. I want to go on here about youth being a bit of a leg up as well as body composition and a childhood full of sports but I might end up convincing myself there actually is a gift of easy burpees and I'll end up all pissy about it and miss the point I wanted to make here.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">The point,</span> I think, is not to measure your fitness against others (except in tiny inspirational doses) but to measure your fitness improvements against yourself. Especially if you are coming into roller derby with <span style="font-size: large;">adult onset athletics.</span><br />
<br />
You really need to measure and track your own trajectory. This is vital to keeping yourself motivated while learning how to workout and, even harder, how to stick to it even when <span style="font-size: large;">gods, genetics and time conspire </span>to deny you the burpee-ready body.<br />
<br />
I have a set of personal motivators that I use to keep me going whenever I don't feel like putting in the effort. For me, it's very specific memories of three years ago when certain parts of my body that did not look or feel like something that should be a part of me. Like how my stomach used to actually fold over onto itself after my second baby arrived. And my ass formed<span style="font-size: large;"> a gentle slope</span> from my hip bones down to the tops of my legs <span style="font-size: large;">without any discernible muscle tone. </span><br />
<br />
Now I know, given how much I abused my body with neglect and cookies prior to roller derby, that I am not going to get into super shape. But despite how it looks - and it does look better - I feel <span style="font-size: large;">ten thousand times </span>better than I did three years ago when I couldn't stand up from the floor without using my hands to brace myself. <br />
<br />
That feels so weird to me now, that I couldn't raise myself off the floor <span style="font-size: large;">without using my hands.</span> But yet, that is the fitness story of most of my life. Lacking that muscle left me with a sprained ankle on my third derby practice ever and many more injuries in my knees and back <span style="font-size: large;">until I developed the strength to hold myself up.</span> No small feat.<br />
<br />
The other day I found a couple sheets of paper photocopied from a magazine of an interval workout I had tried three years ago. I remember getting to the fourth set of seven (three minute cardio, one minute strength and one minute core sets) and then having total muscle failure in my legs. Yesterday I did the whole seven sets and <span style="font-size: large;">it wasn't really that hard</span>.<br />
<br />
Not travel team hard anyway.<br />
<br />
Beyond burpees and how to get off the floor without using my hands, I did learn a few things about what it means to push myself beyond my perceived barriers. First of all, <span style="font-size: large;">there is a point beyond 'I can't - my body won't do it.'</span> If you push beyond there, it turns into <span style="font-size: large;">'I can - and holy fuck it hurts.'</span> Also I get shaky and this sort of weird all over body cold feeling that probably isn't good, but it is completely possible to push myself far beyond the point where <span style="font-size: large;">I thought</span> I had stop.<br />
<br />
I've learned I cannot dehydrate to the point of death in an hour workout, no matter how sweaty I get. So water breaks are good and necessary, getting a bit thirsty is not a good reason to break my concentration. Best to just maintain an overall good habit of daily hydration. <br />
<br />
I've learned that when the burpee gifted are running circles around me and taunting me by being all good looking in Lycra, I need to<span style="font-size: large;"> tuck my focus inside myself</span> and do what I need to do. <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">Don't judge and don't quit.</span> </span> I'd rather beat myself up with push ups than with self defeating comparisons.<br />
<br />
I've learned that getting light headed with lots of up and down movements means my blood pressure is low and I could very well <span style="font-size: small;">pass right the fuck out.</span> I improved my chronic low blood pressure with better eating habits and cutting down the stimulants (sugar and caffeine). <br />
<br />
I've learned that cross training is my friend. I like yoga, running stairs and bike riding. If you go from sedentary to exclusive training with derby, you end up having a lot of sore joints and unnecessary injuries from overdeveloping certain muscles while others are left behind. <span style="font-size: large;">Learning to be an athlete later in life is hard enough without developing all wonky</span>. Even it up with cross training. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Getting out the door for a workout is the hardest part.</span> It is so tempting to opt out and avoid the workout, especially knowing it will be tough. Even tough enough to make your legs and shoulders ache for days afterwards. <span style="font-size: large;">But if you can make yourself start, it gets easier.</span> Mentally, I mean, not physically. That workout shit is hard. Unless you have the burpee gift. Once you are there and moving and your only choice is to push through to the end, you will glad you did it. Eventually. When you're able to walk downstairs again not looking like <span style="font-size: large;">a badly strung marionette</span>.<br />
<br />
I think that you could probably classify this as developing mental toughness but it is probably more a fear of slowly becoming <span style="font-size: large;">ever more slumpy</span> as I age and slipping so far down a slope of unhealthy habits that I will never be able to recover from. There is so much to be gained from improving one's fitness - more energy, physical play with the kids, kicking ass with greater efficiency at roller derby.<br />
<br />
It is a case, for those of us who spent more time cultivating our baking skills rather than our bodies, as better late than never. We all must start from where we are at and realize that over time it never gets easier even though we do get better. <span style="font-size: large;">My one hundredth workout felt as hard as my first one.</span> But I am a different person. And hey, look! No hands!<br />
<br />
And if you discover and that you do, indeed, find burpees to be oh so easy and suspect you have a god-granted gift for them, do me a favour and <span style="font-size: large;">don't tell me.</span><br />
<br />
<br />Charity Indietuteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13517919253368724623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9062892181190970298.post-28790562016178671702013-07-05T10:41:00.001-07:002013-07-05T10:41:31.005-07:00I think I have the crazies<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;">One year ago</span> I was playing with our league's travel team, chairing a board position, coaching fresh meat and a part time ref. Since then I have:</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">a) Gotten injured. Busted my tailbone when I fell on my skate during a warm up for a game. It is as painful as it sounds. For the record, <span style="font-size: large;">I still played the game.</span> I think I might have been in shock. But we won, yay!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">b) Did no contact practices for a bit and focused on learning the reffing better. Spent non-derby time trying to figure out how to sit in chairs without actually <span style="font-size: large;">having my ass make contact with the seat</span>.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">c) Returned to active duty. Then got sort of overwhelmed and angry. With everything and everybody. And my ass still hurt.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">d) Decided I needed a derby break. That lasted about two nanoseconds. But I did manage to not run in the next board election. Actually, that's not true. I did run, became VP and then had a panic attack at three am that night worrying about having to do it all if the president quit. <span style="font-size: large;"> It's not an irrational fear.</span> Our presidents should go on the endangered species list. I resigned at four am. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">e) Resigned from the travel team as well. Played a couple games with our B team. Love those ladies.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">f) Decided I needed a derby break again. Found fresh meat another coach and resigned from the B team. That lasted about two nanoseconds. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">g) Became a full time ref. Filled my head with all sorts of finicky bits of rules and protocol until I couldn't be near the track without nearly having a nervous break down from the <span style="font-size: large;">continuous infractions</span> committed by players who seem <span style="font-size: large;">blithely unaware</span> that they are <span style="font-size: large;">breaking the god damn rules</span> all. the. fucking. time.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">h) Realized that reffing was turning me into an anal retentive middle manager and that is exactly <span style="font-size: large;">not </span>why I'm in derby so decided to take a break.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">i) Which lasted two nanoseconds.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">j) While retaining the reffing break, I was somehow convinced to start coaching fresh meat again and play a game with the B team. I heart fresh meat and missed their innocent, unjaded optimism. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">k) I learned that 'unjaded' isn't a real word. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">So, here I am, transitioning from ref to player again. I feel a little like what it must be like for a cop who was framed and sent to jail. Except for all the ass raping. I hope. I mean, my ass did hurt but for <span style="font-size: large;">an entirely different reason</span>. Sorry to put that all into your head.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">The point is, as a ref, when I said <span style="font-size: large;">you done did wrong</span>, they had to pay a price. As a player, when I point out the broken rule, they just say, <span style="font-size: large;">'Suck it, bitch!'</span> and do it again.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Not. Fair. I get distracted by my rage at<span style="font-size: large;"> the injustice of it all </span>and fail to protect myself. Never mind actually play the damn game in any sort of half-ways effective manner.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">As a ref, I learned to deal with an infraction by <span style="font-size: large;">yelling at it and sending it off the track</span>. Given that this is my normal sort of reaction in everyday life, I feel quite comfortable doing this. I'm what you might call a natural hall monitor.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Remembering to react physically by, oh I don't know, hitting somebody back, is more challenging. Especially this is the <span style="font-size: large;">second bloody time</span> I've had to do and it's <span style="font-size: large;">not</span> any more intuitive now than it was three years ago when I was fresh meat. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">Thus, the work now is to go through my head and root out all those parts that feel hard done by and indignant and pissy about what is happening around me at the moment. In other words, <span style="font-size: large;">I need to learn to let go.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">People say that when you play a sport <span style="font-size: large;">it never gets easier no matter how good you get </span>because you are always moving up to the next level and making and meeting new challenges. I think in roller derby, particularly for women without sports backgrounds, we not only have new challenges but we end up having to <span style="font-size: large;">redo our old ones</span> again with a different mind. Because our brains are filled with all sorts of imprinted <span style="font-size: large;">self-regulating social garbage </span>and the lesson isn't truly learned until we can develop new instincts that don't involve us invoking feelings of victim hood. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">I have no protocols on how to do this. </span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I just need to <span style="font-size: large;">stop itemizing</span> every little low block and directional before I lose my mind.</span> All I can figure out is to keep going to practices and work on shutting my face and moving my feet instead whenever I see a penalty happening. <span style="font-size: large;">And to give myself a thousand burpees <span style="font-size: small;">whenever I make the WTF arms at a ref</span>. <span style="font-size: small;">Honestly, I've wanted to do that to players for awhile now anyway. </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">I am trying to approach it all again with a beginner's mind - clearing away all that I think I know so that I can react to what is happening at the moment, without judgement, and just play some derby.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
Charity Indietuteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13517919253368724623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9062892181190970298.post-82411878208739415512012-08-13T10:30:00.003-07:002012-08-13T10:30:56.751-07:00evolution vs toastIn my ongoing effort to improve my nutritional status so I can be the bestest roller derby-er I can be, despite my <span style="font-size: large;">stunning lack</span> of natural abilities (see nearly all previous posts) I have been looking into the ways that athletes and super healthy people fuel themselves. One particular way has popped up more than its fair share and that is the paleolithic diet. I know you've heard of it and if you haven't you've got access to Google, so I'm not going to describe it beyond saying that it involves no grains, just meat, vegetables, fruit and nuts.<br />
<br />
Paleo has caught my eye because I know a half dozen people personally who have claimed that paleo eating and lifestyle has changed their lives. And I've seen them undergo changes, becoming healthier, fitter and happier. Paleo is like the magical unicorn of diets. <br />
<br />
Reading about it, there is some good guys (Robb Wolf seems pretty knowledgeable plus he says swear words) and some questionable science guys (Gary Taubes) but still, for the most part, I find myself in agreeance with the paleo sellers. This would be the point that I, given my penchant for turning my whole life into a science experiment because I'm curious, interested and always eager to find things that help me be healthier, to yell <span style="font-size: large;">giddy up</span> and spend a few weeks re-learning how to eat. <br />
<br />
The reason why I'm hesitating to adopt this paleo diet is a set of arguments I waded through about fifteen years ago stuck to me and turned itself into a firm and clear ethical basis from which much of my identity and life is constructed. I am vegan. I like being vegan. My children are vegan. I don't want to eat animals. When it's me vs. the mythical bunny on the hypothetical desert island I would Not Eat the Bunny.<br />
<br />
I get that grains are not so good for our bodies. I live that one out with wheat all the time. I love toast. I have gone so far in the recent past to say that <span style="font-size: large;">I fucking love toast</span>. But toast doesn't fucking me. Toast, which is so good, so tasty turns into an evil bitch in my stomach and makes me suffer for every bite. <span style="font-size: large;">Toast is a frenemy.</span> Good bye (*sob*) toast.<br />
<br /><br />
The paleo kicker is that it is impossible to construct a strictly paleo diet while also being vegan. Legumes and grains form an important part of vegan nutrition, as they contain larger doses of protein than vegetables. It is possible to construct a diet that is paleo-esque but includes some legumes and seeds like quinoa, amarath and hemp. Brendan Brazier is one such vegan athlete guru and, I'll admit, I've been consuming his yellow pea/hemp/veggie magic powders for years. (I've actually, I've come to crave the odd taste of Vega products, which I like to blend with a bit of banana and almond milk.)<br />
<br />
I like Brazier. I follow him on Facebook. But Brazier's diet is not strictly paleo and, according to Wolf, I shall never get the benefits of becoming a <span style="font-size: large;">slick, lean fat fuelled machine</span> if I bastardize the paleo diet and sneak in some quinoa. <br />
<br />
This little vegan vs paleo debate has been tearing me up for a little while. It's the worst of both worlds right now, since I can't figure out what to make for breakfast and my entire day goes to shit after that. I mean, if I shouldn't eat toast or oatmeal or pancakes, then what the fuck do I eat? Broccoli with my coffee? <span style="font-size: large;">That is not breakfast fuel</span>, my friends. <br />
<br />
Then, this morning as I made oatmeal because I have to eat <em>something</em>, it occurred to me that perhaps I've had my head up my ass long enough. Here is the thing with our culture: we have so much time, energy and resources that we can afford to self indulgently narrow our choices down and grow into <span style="font-size: large;">neurotic dietary puritans</span>. I have unlimited food sources from all over the world, I do not have traditional foods prescribed nor do I live with religious tenents that dicate my lunch choice. To decide that I will be vegan (and maintain with admittedly good health for fifteen years with the exception of two pregnancies) is<span style="font-size: large;"> a luxury of my time and place</span>. To decide to only eat like our paleo ancestors is another luxury item. To sit here and dither over which one is best is even more self indulgent. I am damn fucking lucky to have this choice. So I will not suffer over it anymore.<br />
<br />
I remember reading study that looked at all the paradoxical ways of eating, trending fads, diets, and longer term commitments, like Seventh Day Adventist vegetarians, that claimed to maintain health (and weight loss) with foods that conflicted with one another. The South Beachers could lose weight and maintain based upon denying themselves foods that the Greeks eat daily (fat, fat and more fat). We have the French paradox and the Chinese paradox and how can all these conflicting ways of eating still work to support healthy human life? <br />
<br />
The study concluded that all of the diets that did indeed improve human health had one common feature: large portions vegetables, <span style="font-size: large;">particularly green leafies</span>, as cornerstones to their menus. A part of me wondering is that it's not so much the meat that makes paleo so successful, it's actually the inclusion of large servings of vegetables.<br />
<br />
Another part of our evolving species is our <span style="font-size: large;">big, heavy, pelvis busting brains</span>. See, if it's me vs the rabbit on the island, the knee jerk reaction of our species to a desperate situation is to kill something and eat it and, sure, I could do that. I could go all paleo all over the bunny, eat the little prey, and go to sleep when the sun goes down. Or, I could sit my ass down and think about it for a minute and it will probably occur to me to wonder, <span style="font-size: large;">what the fuck is the bunny eating?</span> <br />
<br />
<br />
We are omnivores. We sustain our lives on all sorts of foods. We eat from the sky, the ground, the sea, and we cook it all in the sun, hot springs and in lava pits. We carry around super computers in our skulls. The choices we have is our predicament, they make us crazy, but they are also<span style="font-size: large;"> our way off of crazy island</span> and all the hypothetical scenarios that are not going to happen to this prairie living girl.<br />
<br />
I don't know if being vegan is the ultimate healthy sort of way. I can't say that paleo is either. I know that <span style="font-size: large;">eating a shit ton of vegetables is a good thing</span> and that I must painfully, with great sorrow, end my love affair with toast. I also know that<span style="font-size: large;"> I've got a lot of other things to do with my life</span> than sit around tinkering with my diet. <br />
<br />
I'm not sick. I do have energy and health. I am also pretty lazy and can afford to be lazy. It's much <span style="font-size: large;">more fun to read books</span> (with swear words) about <span style="font-size: large;">my self indulgent food choices</span> and<span style="font-size: large;"> endlessly tweak my lifestyle</span> than to go do something that matters.<br />
<br />
So, I'm going to go do some shit, eat some veggies for lunch and fail to worry about it. And then I'm going to get ready in my specialized clothing designed by modern day scientists to maximize my movement potential while drawing sweat away from my body and <span style="font-size: large;">hunt down </span>an opposing jammer deer while helping my jammer <span style="font-size: large;">gather up</span> some points in roller derby practice.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">It is what I am evolved to do.</span>Charity Indietuteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13517919253368724623noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9062892181190970298.post-34037547703656544292012-08-07T09:39:00.003-07:002012-08-07T10:09:35.303-07:00action itemsI find derby hard.<br />
<br />
I am not a natural skater. It is a lot of work for me, physically and mentally.<br />
<br />
I am not a natural athlete. I don't think of my body very much and prefer to keep my mileage low. Given time on my own, I will crawl into a ball and use only my arms to hold a book. Well, maybe the occasional walk to the kitchen to make more tea.<br />
<br />
When I was in high school, I had a friend tell me that he could see me spending my adult years laying on a couch, yelling at my kids to fetch mommy more bon bons. <br />
<br />
So, despite this derby thing being terrifically difficult, I think I'm doing pretty good. Difficult is do-able.<br />
<br />
But to make difficult do-able, I need to take care of the things I can at home with my body so that do not merely survive a hard, ass kicking practice in the heat but actually learn a few things too. Surviving isn't enough. I want to excel. I have to work extra hard in the rest of my life in order to make the time and effort I put in at practice count.<br />
<br />
Which means I have to be thoughful when I care for myself nutritionally. I must workout outside of practice. I must treat myself as the athlete I aspire to be. At least I can have that covered so that my sucking at derby won't be further exaggerated by poor diet and lack of muscles.<br />
<br />
<br />
Still. I'm not perfect. And when I slip, I fall down much further than I expect.<br />
<br />
<br />
My birthday, bless it, past recently and suddenly there was cake and a celebratory Chinese dinner and, omg, ice cream and chocolate bars for treats. Going to the movies instead of working out. Old habits never quite disappear and it doesn't take much to have them take over again, eroding a lot of hard work.<br />
<br /><br /><br />
Then the carb cravings ramped up and I started having toast for breakfast instead of the preferable hemp protein and almond smoothie. And then toast for snack before bed and a glass of wine instead of mint tea. And then cake for lunch. And more toast.<br />
<br /><br /><br />
I love toast. I fucking love toast. And bon bons. Kids, bring mommy her bon bons!<br />
<br />
But toast and wine and bon bons do not love me. They make it harder for me to do the things I want to do. Toast makes my middle swell and look like I'm hiding a beach ball in my jersey. And wine gives me cankles to match my swollen belly. And bon bons make me angry and tired. And when I feel down, it seems so. much. easier. to go get another piece of cake than to make a salad. All that chopping and stuff... ugh.<br />
<br /><br />
I've read in several places that it is better to never have another cookie again than to reward oneself for good nutritional choices with a once a week cookie treat. It seems our bodies will, after a few days without a narcotic substance (and sugar, wheat and all the delicious white stuff is) kind of forget about it. Your body will crave what you give it. But a little bit of the super sweet stuff is like a super stimulator and even a tiny amount will overload your craving center, until all you can do is think about getting just one more cookie.<br />
<br /><br />
Or piece of toast.<br />
<br /><br />
(Hmmm... toast...)<br />
<br /><br />
They also say it is best to have a balance of foods. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy and all nuts and protein powder and no dark chocolate Aero bars makes Malady a sad bore. But I don't really do balance well. Toast is a gateway to large bars of chocolate and entire bottles of wine. There is sweet stuff that I can have a little bit of and not want more. Like fruit. Good stuff, feels great to eat a bit, won't go crazy about it, you know? <br />
<br /><br />
I don't believe I can do balance well. Not at this stage of the game anyway.<br />
<br /><br />
So how do I drag myself back out of this pit and start behaving like an athlete again?<br />
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<br />
The above was written last night right before a two and half hour travel team practice, including an off skates warm up with a run and three rounds of 5 pull ups, 10 tuck jumps, 15 bicycle crunches, 20 inverted push ups, 25 box jumps.<br />
<br />
3(5+10+15+20+25) = 225 reasons not eat another fucking bon bon ever again.<br />
<br />
Working out and practice always improves my nutritional choices for 24 hours afterwards, because I remember how hard it is to move around all this poundage plus a ball of (vegan) ginger beef in my belly. Athlete, do what?<br />
<br />
<strong>Action item #1: Workout at least once every 24 hours.</strong><br />
<br />
Workouts don't need to all be super stair running and plyometric intervals. Some days, just going to the playground with the kids gets my heart racing for half an hour or more. And getting myself to more practices is just helpful all around.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
**</div>
<br />
This morning I went to the post office which happens to be located beside a walk in medical clinic. Nothing like a load of sick people to encourage you to pass by the pasta and chop that salad. And then run some stairs for bone health.<br />
<br />
Motivation is a funny thing. When there is an immediate consequence, say touching a hot stove, you learn quickly and easily not to do things that harm you. When consequence comes hours, weeks, or years later, we forget that things can be harmful for us.<br />
<br />
The trick is to mentally invoke a consequence that may not happen for years in order to motivate your behavior now. Green things are good for me, sugar things are not, and as I age my diet and habits of movements will increasingly show themselves. <br />
<br />
<strong>Action item #2: Remind myself frequently of the consequence of good health. </strong><br />
<br />
For me this means a lot of people watching, something I like to do anyway. Check out people's carts in the grocery store then try to gauge their relative health. Hang out where people work out. Go the the mall for fresh veggie juice while checking out the food court. Get really, really (quietly) judgmental about people.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
**</div>
<br />
What this all boils down to is choices. I am not lacking information about nutrition, I know what is good for me. I know what makes me feel like an awesome kung fu ninja and what makes me feel like I've been dropped in the pit of despair and I'm too fat to scale the walls back out again. I'm not dumb. But I do make poor choices sometimes.<br />
<br />
<strong>Action item #3: Remove the choice</strong>.<br />
<br />
Bye bye leftover birthday cake. Later bon bons. Ciao loaf of bread. Heelllllllo greens.<br />
<br />
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**</div>
<br />
There are many, many other small actions I can take to encourage better choices if I'm going to remain an athlete as I cruise into middle age. But, for me, these are the big ones. I know these ones have overriden my poor habits from the past and that a week or two of good choices will dimish my cravings and tendency to sloth greatly. These three actions are my lifestyle equivalent of being a jammer up against a strong front wall, knowing that if she can just stay upright and keep pushing then eventually either the wall will break or she'll push them out of play. <br />
<br />
Then she'll be free to run.<br />
<br />Charity Indietuteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13517919253368724623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9062892181190970298.post-9570438375103084252012-07-29T23:53:00.002-07:002012-07-29T23:53:39.598-07:00There is a difference between knowing better and doing better<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Though they've been sounding like maracas for months and one wheel, when you gave it a spin, would grind to a halt after two rotations, I changed these out just yesterday. I have no excuse for my neglience, though I'm certain my legs are stronger for the extra work they've had to do just to push me around the track. I will say, however, new bearings make me feel like a new person. </div>
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<br /></div>Charity Indietuteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13517919253368724623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9062892181190970298.post-60309220426641846252012-07-23T22:52:00.001-07:002012-07-23T22:52:01.887-07:00why I'm a bad blogger and 9 super points of wisdomIt has been noted recently that I am a terrifically negligent derby blogger. Sorry. If it makes you feel better, I am also negligent in almost every area of my life. I would explain it's because I spoon fed derby my brain as well as all my time but if you are here, reading a derby blog, you probably already understand the life consuming derby blob well enough.<br />
<br />
But, I'm busy, you know? With derby. Which is why I can't write about derby, because I'm too busy making derby happen. That involves way <em>way</em> more than just going to practices and games. See, as the new pad smell of derby finally faded, I woke up from my fresh meat puppy love to find myself neck deep in committees, meetings, and an administrative To Do list longer than the pack definition. In the past, my inability to say no has gotten me in more trouble than a fruit fly in a glass of Merlot and now it has caused my kids and my league mates have equal shares in my ass. I am a slave to derby.<br />
<br />
(Which, on a side note, is funny since though I have managed to thus far avoid any derby nuptials, I have somehow acquired a derby pimp and a subsequent obligation my team's fundraising sub-committee. Come to think of it, I may actually already have a derby wife and that wife is derby itself, much in the way nuns are married to god. Alms to the poor travel team?)<br />
<br />
I am no longer fresh meat. I am no longer rancid meat. I am somewhere adrift between colonization of maggots and being far gone enough to grow lettuce. I no longer can talk about the experience of being new, feeling awkward and pushing myself beyond my comfort zone. I feel pretty at home on the track now. My fishnets have been replaced by Lyra and practices that make the edges of my vision go dark are my new comfort zone. I run stairs and do cross fit for fitness and <em>fun</em>. My derby crush has turned out to be a keeper and we've set up house.<br />
<br />
Thus, to gain some closure on and finally bid adieu to my minty fresh derby self as I finally admit I am no longer a blushing novice, I shall present to sum of the wisdom I have learned as my two year benchmark anniversary approaches in this next month. <br />
<br />
(Get ready to be blown away by my sage council.)<br />
<br />
1. Attitude counts.<br />
<br />
2. Yes, it's hard. Get over it.<br />
<br />
3. You are very thirsty but you probably won't die. Finish the drill. You can always give just a little bit more.<br />
<br />
4. It never gets easier, you merely encounter new obstacles at greater heights as you progress. You have to find a different way to measure success than easy vs. hard. <br />
<br />
5. Do not compare yourself to other skaters in a negative way. Everyone has their own hurdles and triumphs. You don't know what they've been through. If they're better than you, they've most likely worked very hard and made a lot of sacrifices. Do not be jealous, honour their achievements. If they are not as good as you, do not feel superior because in no time they'll improve enough to knock your ass down. Cheer them on as they get better and they will become a valuable teammate one day. <br />
<br />
6. Dryland and off skates exercises will help you make significant improvements on skates. It sucks, but there it is.<br />
<br />
7. What you put in your body matters. Eat well all the time, not too much, and make sure you eat a little snack right after practice.<br />
<br />
8. Even when the reffing blows (it always does), the other team is douchey (they always are), and your teammates are all in the penalty box (as always), you can not blame anyone but yourself for a bad game. It's up to you to be able to meet all these challenges and still succeed.<br />
<br />
9. Find some balance between derby and life. But don't ask me how to do it because I don't fucking know. <br />
<br />
<br />Charity Indietuteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13517919253368724623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9062892181190970298.post-51284742809588006602012-04-22T18:33:00.001-07:002012-04-22T18:34:01.257-07:00And if the world doesn't like it, they can just kiss itLast weekend <a href="http://www.chinookcity.ca/" target="_blank">Chinook City</a> hosted Flat Track Fever, a tournament with thirteen women's teams, four men's teams and a shwack of co-ed pick up games. This was my first derby tournament and I think that, as with many firsts, it'll always be a bit special to me.<br />
<br />
A few interesting things happened. My team took first place, cementing our ranking in Canada (number three, behind Terminal City and the New Skids). Exciting for me, I actually played quite a bit and got hoards of compliments for generally being a bad ass blocker and pivot type person. I discovered that while its taken me this week to feel like my spine is back into alignment after being bashed around all weekend, despite my advanced age (I'll confess, thirty-six!) I do indeed have the energy for a three day tournament and would have very much liked to play the final game instead of having it forfeited to us. I also may have developed a slight taste for crushing the spirits of the opposition (see forfeited last game).<br />
<br />
But, that is not what I'm going to talk about right now. Instead, I'd like to talk about my bare ass and its sudden appearance during my first game of the weekend on the straightaway right before turn one and on <a href="http://www.derbynewsnetwork.com/" target="_blank">Derby News Network,</a> who through <a href="http://www.canuckderbytv.com/" target="_blank">Canuck TV</a> had their camera pointed right at me. <br />
<br />
No, don't bother going to search the archives, the game is gone, thank goodness.<br />
<br />
Here is what happened. My mate Timber, brilliant rookie that is she, is all busy blocking hanging on to my jersey truck and trailer fashion, when she goes down. She must of also had a hold of my leggings and undies because, whoop, there they go too. I suddenly feel a discomforting breeze, my teammates and GPRDA get a quick reason to say no to crack and by the time we hit turn two I've stopped cussing at Timber and we're all back to business. <br />
<br />
As you can imagine, I've had quite a few thoughts about my first and hopefully only public depantsing. First off, it's time to retire my lucky leggings I've been wearing since I first put on skates. If derby continues to get more hands on (between teammates anyway) then tighter clothes with reinforced seams will be the only way to go if there is a crowd anywhere near me.<br />
<br />
Next, as I've found while actively blocking, only a small portion of experience actually makes it to the long term storage memory banks. Most of my time on the track is a set of snap shots and I rarely can remember more than brief moments of any jam. My theory is that the short term memory is overloaded during play, between worrying about the positions of ten players (especially me), what the coach and bench is saying, what the up to seven referees are calling (I always pay attention to the calls, whether directed at me or not), playing offense and defense, running multiple strategies at once time and having to keep turning left ON WHEELS while hitting, being hit and picking my arse up off the floor or dodging someone else's fallen arse. You can't really blame a brain for forgetting some of the fine details. At this level of stimulus, loading sequential events into long term storage is fine detail. Hence the snapshot memory effect and the inability to remember that spectacular jammer knock out I made everyone keeps going on about.<br />
<br />
But I haven't forgotten mooning the world. That was notable enough for long term memory storage, listed under Things to Remember and Feel Really Silly About When Trying To Fall Asleep.<br />
<br />
The biggest lesson of this all only made itself known several days later, though, when I was almost publicly depantsed again. This time it was at my daughter's school and my four year old son tugged on my jeans to get my attention and I almost showed the entire first grade class what kind of bruise one can get when one kicks their own ass while wearing a roller skate.<br />
<br />
That is when it dawned on me: my body shrank!<br />
<br />
I have been in derby for two years and have averaged about five pounds heavier all the way through than when I started. My body has changed and some repositioning has happened (and rather attractive bulging in some spots - I'm ridiculously in love with my own calves right now) but generally I haven't gotten any smaller. The past few months, however, our league has pushed up the intensity of our practices up a couple notches, added some off skates training and has been focusing on cardio endurance. In addition, I laid off the sweets, starchy foods and alcohol while preparing for this tournament. And somehow I've managed to lose two entire pant sizes without noticing.<br />
<br />
Fuck yeah!<br />
<br />
To be honest, I don't take any real steps to try to control my weight. I haven't cared enough to put in the effort of calorie counting and, heaven forbid, actual calorie restriction (*shutter*). I think being smaller would be nice but only because it would allow me to move faster with less effort. Generally I focus on eating well and enjoying life and don't sweat the cookies. The physical activity I do is to become more fit for my sport. And I play my sport to keep my body healthy. Not just healthy, but thriving.<br />
<br />
I didn't start roller derby to become more fit (I'm not actually sure anymore why I started, just something about wanting to hit bitches) but over time, as I've discovered how good it feels to be able to move my body freely and get up off the floor without grunting with the effort like Aughra from The Dark Crystal, I've grown to appreciate how playing this sport is positively affecting my health, both now and in the future. I see women my age who move like they are fifty and I see fifty year old women who move like they are seventy. I have no intention of sliding down the slope towards old age, moving more slowly and awkwardly, getting more brittle and hunched. I want to continue to play and wrestle with my kids, be able to work out intensely without having to spend a week recovering, have the energy and fitness to accomplish my goals. Roller derby not only points me in the right direction but gives me a push too.<br />
<br />
I don't know what I'd do without derby. Certainly other activities for grown ups haven't held much appeal. I am highly unmotivated to push myself to go to the gym and left to my own devices, I will use my child free gym time to bunk off for a latte and read a book. I need someone to guide me and remind me to keep pushing. As for yoga, running, wall climbing and fitness classes, they all lack that opportunity for crushing the spirits of the opposition I am growing quite fond of. Plus you hardly ever get to hit a bitch without the involvement of the authorities when doing mat work. And warrior pose, my friends, is false advertising.<br />
<br />
All of this insight into my own derby motivations started with that one brief, airy moment when Timber decided that if she was going down, she wasn't going down alone. Which means that while I may be a bit embarrassed, I'm not really sorry about showing my bum to the world. In fact, given all the good that has come along with with that one itty bitty depantsing, I was thinking about making it my signature move.Charity Indietuteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13517919253368724623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9062892181190970298.post-10872653234138052932012-03-23T15:20:00.001-07:002012-03-23T15:23:51.993-07:00RollerGirl Boom wheel review by Princess Sticky Skates<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://s43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/?action=view&current=021-6.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="291" src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/021-6.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
I ordered <a href="http://www.rollergirl.ca/" target="_blank">RollerGirl'</a>s new <a href="http://www.rollergirl.ca/skateshop/rollergirl-boom-p-422.html" target="_blank">Boom wheels</a> that are advertised to be narrowest, grippiest, lightest wheels<em> ever</em>. I can tell you that they certainly are light but that's about all I can say since they went directly on the girl child's skates without even a test run for mama.<br />
<br />
I don't know who in their right mind spends almost twice on wheels for a child's skates than the skates cost in the first place but I can tell you if happen to go to practices five days a week, have a spouse in derby, a brother in derby, a child bitching and whining because you haven't gotten time to organize that junior program yet and can't move for gear bags and hockey trees then you probably aren't in your right mind anyway.<br />
<br />
This probably explains why I have a seven year old wheel nut. She somehow got the idea that upgrading her gear will make her a better skater and seeing as my custom speed boots arrived just last month I can't really tell her different while maintaining a straight face. <br />
<br />
(I do love my new skates but ow ow ow breaking in speed boots!)<br />
<br />
The girl has become a bit obsessive about wheels. When she meets someone at the arena the first thing she does is look down to see how they roll. She'll stand on the side making mental notes comparing a skater's wheels to their agility, speed and overall coolness. While watching Shaggy try to make a get away on roller skates in an episode of old school Scooby Doo - after criticising Shaggy's lack of safety gear and calling a low block when he took out the baddie at ankle height - she rewound the tape so she could get a better look at his wheels because, as she said, <em>'He wasn't very good but he was sure going fast!'</em><br />
<br />
When her grandmother asked her what she wanted for Christmas, she said the only thing she wants is new wheels. Which caused a certain amount of amusing confusion and then pity when it was clarified that she was talking about roller skate wheels.<br />
<br />
Our derby-ness as a family tends to spread out and down the family tree. Not so much upwards.<br />
<br />
Generally, good gear takes you far but practice takes you further. In Princess Sticky Skates' case (yes, she has a derby name), however, the wheels do make a difference. Her recreational <a href="http://www.rollergirl.ca/skateshop/white-pink-p-237.html" target="_blank">skates</a>, after two years of wear, are just starting to fit her feet but the wheels that came with them have basically disintegrated. She's still about a year from being able to fit in really real derby skates. Neither of us can wait.<br />
<br />
RollerGirl Boom wheels are just a hair bigger than the original wheels that came on the girl's skates, if that gives you an idea of how little they are. Earlier, just to see if changing the wheels was even possible on her skates, I tried on a set of Radar Flat Outs that happened to kicking around the arena. The wheels fit the axle, but, given that Flat Outs are fairly wide, her skates looked like one of those expo monster trucks with the giant wheels that drive over and crush stacks of cars while shooting flames out their tail pipes. While she looked adorably tuff and very derby girl (I wanted to get her a t-shirt that said, 'I may be little but I have big wheels'), the girl child complained that she had to skate like she was riding a horse or else she'd trip over her own feet and I switched them back off again.<br />
<br />
As it turns out, RollerGirl just released their Boom wheels right when I was looking for the slimmest, lightest wheels I could find. And they have pink cores which sealed the deal. They arrived last week to much rejoicing and seven year old shouts of happiness, '<em>It's like Christmas, but better!'</em><br />
<br />
I still don't know how I feel about having such sweet (pricey) little wheels on my kid's skates but the temptation to challenge somebody else to race derby orphans with me is awfully strong. Because in her new little wheels she sure is fast.<br />
<br />
So what does Princess Sticky Skates think of her new wheels? Obviously, after so much deliberation and focus she has a great deal of insight on the performance of the RollerGirl Boom wheels. I asked her just today to give me the low down.<br />
<br />
PSS says,<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><em>They're really, really good. I like them. Can I go watch my show now? </em></div><br />
And there you have it.Charity Indietuteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13517919253368724623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9062892181190970298.post-45709233670876572862012-03-04T11:13:00.001-08:002012-03-04T11:34:18.201-08:00The thing about roller derby...... is that it's not just about roller derby.<br />
<br />
Derby is a community. Of the type in which members live close enough to each other that they are practically sitting in each other laps, where everyone knows every one's business, and nobody can do anything with tongues wagging. Except that the living closely is more metaphorical in derby, although we do often sit on each other's laps.<br />
<br />
Close communities are beautiful. They cushion its members against depression, loneliness and lack of after parties. They give us families that we can rely on to lend us a lace for our skates or a truck to help us move. Communities all pull together to get something accomplished and share in the rewards. There is a lovely feeling in having a group of people who share your goals and passions, that they will be there for you with the unerring regularity of practices and games.<br />
<br />
Communities can also be cruel. Their existence depends on conformity and of its members adding value to the community. Those who do not contribute, fit in or happen to break any of the many written or unwritten rules face consequences. The worst of which is being ostracized or banished. <br />
<br />
Derby, in particular, is a community that grows not out of necessity and the need for basic survival, but out of passion. Derby doesn't <em>need</em> to be, but we'll move heaven and hell to make it happen.<br />
<br />
Derby isn't just the skaters for the skaters. It isn't. Derby happens because all the work that is done off skates by skaters and non-skaters alike. Officials, league boards and committees, volunteers, fans, and hours and hours of leg work in planning, talking to municipal authorities, paying bills, researching, teaching, promoting, designing flyers, posters, tickets and uniforms, talking to other leagues, setting up bouts, coaches, venues, merchandising, fundraisers and even more talking and planning trying to work out what the community wants and how to do it. And fielding endless questions and complaints from a world that wants this enormous cultural phenomena that is flat track roller derby brought to them, conveniently packaged and sanitized for the masses. All. From. Volunteers.<br />
<br />
Skaters do much of this work. We have to, of course, otherwise we would not be skaters. But to say that skaters are volunteers is fudging over the detail that skaters actually pay to skate in addition to all the unpaid work they do for their leagues and derby in general. In addition to athletic training. In addition to having lives and families. (Who, incidentally, tend to get dragged into the derby vortex. In my league we now have skating husbands, skating wives, skating sisters and brothers, skating mamas, skating dads and skating children.)<br />
<br />
Still, there is no way the skaters can do it all. <br />
<br />
It's mindboggling the time and resources that are put into this sport. The know-how that has been shared, the thousands upon thousands of volunteer hours, the generosity and competition and love and hurt feelings and some extremely tenacious people who have been put down only to rise up again even stronger. And being a community of passion rather than necessity, its all been done loudly, firmly, and with as many mistakes as triumphs.<br />
<br />
I just want to say thank you to my fellow skaters, the officials, the volunteers, and the fans. This community has given more than a sport, more than exercise and a reason to live healthy. It's given me some great friends, some tentative love for my own body, self respect and more paperwork and meetings than I had ever imagined I might find in my lifetime. I've shed a lot of tears but I've also, somehow, become someone I might possibly admire.<br />
<br />
Go me. And go you, dear derby community. You're amazing.<br />
<br />
Because roller derby is about much more than just roller derby.<br />
Charity Indietuteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13517919253368724623noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9062892181190970298.post-53734863642985005562012-02-27T10:44:00.001-08:002012-02-27T10:49:22.851-08:00first scrimmageTomorrow our newly benchmarked players will be playing in the Minty Fresh rookie scrimmage. First time playing. <br />
<br />
I remember <a href="http://pickacheek.blogspot.com/2010/09/congrats-its-derby-girl.html" target="_blank">my first scrimmage</a>. It was <span style="font-size: large;">a little bit epic</span>. For me anyway. At least these rookies won't have the national media there filming them (and scratching the piss out their backs while they flail and fall). At least I hope not. I can't promise anything.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/?action=view&current=396453_10150561391105773_714160772_9562921_1846598255_n.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="213" src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/396453_10150561391105773_714160772_9562921_1846598255_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo by Anthony Canada</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<br />
I can, however, promise the presence of camera. Nobody goes out in fishnets anymore without getting their picture taken. <br />
<br />
(It seems a little funny to me that I'm still fixated on fishnets being the mandatory derby girl uniform when I hardly ever wear fishnets. Usually I wear athletic shorts or opaque tights. Seems this stereotype is pretty deeply ingrained. Perhaps it's time to start thinking about changing it, at least in my own mind.)<br />
<br />
I was going to call one last practice before the scrimmage to make sure our rookies understand some of the finer details of play that may trip them up on game day. Like skating counter clockwise to go to the penalty box. I realize that they may know this stuff intellectually but I know, from sad and sometimes embarrassing experience, that <span style="font-size: large;">your intellect doesn't get much of a say</span> when you are playing. <br />
<br />
It's your body that is in control. <span style="font-size: large;">Your body will do what it's been trained to do.</span> But when it encounters a situation where it has no training or previous experience - like the first trip to the penalty box - it turns to a confused and adrenaline fueled mind who can't think properly and only says, <span style="font-size: large;">'Just Go! What the fuck?! Skate!'</span><br />
<br />
This mind is capable of making some devastating yet surprisingly funny errors during a game.<br />
<br />
But. No last practice. Time to play. So, rookies, what should you know for your first really real scrimmage?<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Dear rookies, in general:</span><br />
<br />
Stay with your colour. Pair up, work together, <span style="font-size: large;">talk.</span><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/?action=view&current=403215_10150717268561554_692351553_11447943_810657374_n.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="220" src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/403215_10150717268561554_692351553_11447943_810657374_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo by Richard Lowes</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<br />
Watch that line.<br />
<br />
If the jammer gets past you, go get her. If she's too far gone, look back because, hey whaddyaknow, <span style="font-size: large;">here she comes again!</span> Get her.<br />
<br />
Each jam is just one of many. As Gunpowder Gertie says, think of what you did good and what you did bad, then <span style="font-size: large;">erase the bad</span> and take that good stuff out again.<br />
<br />
Get a goal for the game and remind yourself of it. Is your goal to protect that line as if it was your baby? To tag the jammer at least once every time she comes through?<br />
<br />
Keep your head on a swivel and maintain your derby stance. Bitches will hit you. Be prepared.<br />
<br />
If the ref calls you off, don't stand there and make the wtf?? sign and say, 'Me?!'. Just go. You may right, maybe not, but in the game <span style="font-size: large;">the ref is always right</span>. Plus also when you're standing there arguing, somebody will hit you. Just go.<br />
<br />
Jammers, notice if you have lead jam or not. If you do, consider calling it when strategically advantageous. Like when your whole bench is screaming at you, <span style="font-size: large;">'Call it! Damnit, call it!'</span><br />
<br />
Remember, <span style="font-size: large;">this is fun</span>. Focus on your job but don't become overwhelmed. Mistakes are inevitable and the best lessons come from the times you fuck up. Just think of how privileged you to be beginning and have all sorts of <span style="font-size: large;">beautiful mistakes</span> ahead of you. So many brilliant learning opportunities. Don't waste them by beating yourself up.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Specifically,</span><br />
<br />
Bring water and another type of beverage. When you get nervous you may also get dry mouth, no matter how much you hydrated. A bit of juice will help that out.<br />
<br />
You'll <span style="font-size: large;">have to pee</span> even though you <span style="font-size: large;">just went</span>. Sometimes it's best to<span style="font-size: large;"> ignore that</span>. It's nerves and it'll go away soon enough.<br />
<br />
Wear what you are comfortable in even if it's not the shiniest, fishnettiest clothes you own. Try out your boutfit before the day. <span style="font-size: large;">Nothing worse than a wedgie when you're jamming.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Eat.</span> But not too much. In some ways, games are not as physically demanding as practices, since you aren't skating continous, but those bursts of mad action alternating with sitting down is still exhausting. Have fuel. But not so much that you can't move.<br />
<br />
Go and thank every single referee and NSO you can find after the bout. Do this every single game, scrimmage and invitational you play your entire derby career. They were all there for you. Demonstrate your appreciation.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/?action=view&current=417116_10150717272226554_692351553_11448019_2098608707_n.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="213" src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/417116_10150717272226554_692351553_11448019_2098608707_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo by Richard Lowes</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<br />
However, if you are really pissed off at a ref, give them a big ol' hug afterwards. Whiffy and sweaty derby girls are pretty gross to anyone who is only slightly sweaty. Revenge is best served stinky and smeary.<br />
<br />
And thank the photographers and buy them a beer if you see them at the afterparty. They are so invaluable to keeping our spirits up and documenting the growth and individuals involved in this phenomenal sport. <span style="font-size: large;">Don't hug them until after you've showered.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Say something nice</span> to your teammates when they come in from a jam, even if it was a total bomb. Bring your bench up, <span style="font-size: large;">stay positive</span>, and you'll all end up winning, no matter what the scoreboard says.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/?action=view&current=421499_10150561393610773_714160772_9562967_381193895_n.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="213" src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/421499_10150561393610773_714160772_9562967_381193895_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo by Anthony Canada</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<br />
After the game, before you go to sleep, <span style="font-size: large;">make a list of all the things you did good</span>. You will most likely forget almost everything that happened during the scrimmage. Most of my games are a few sketchy blurs of action, sort of like a dream half remembered. Before the memory fades, write down the high points and keep the list safe. You'll want to come back to this before you play again and after not so great practices when you are feeling down. <br />
<br />
Remember, most of all, you are already doing something completely amazing, even if you spend the whole game falling on your ass. For every derby skater breaking new ground in their scrimmage there is a million of women <span style="font-size: large;">who wish they were brave as you</span>. Own that.<br />
<br />
And kick some ass.<br />
<br />
I'm proud of you all.Charity Indietuteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13517919253368724623noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9062892181190970298.post-12211554105071706712012-02-05T22:25:00.000-08:002012-02-05T22:27:27.228-08:00scrimmage: refs vs. everybodyI think, if I had to choose, I would pick scrimmages as my all time favorite derby thing to do.<br />
<br />
Really real bouts can get pretty intense and practices are just that. I like the middle road. Scrimmages you can have a little fun, push yourself to try out something new, and hit your friends.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/?action=view&current=431188_10150662330156554_692351553_11292300_1278569505_n.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="265" src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/431188_10150662330156554_692351553_11292300_1278569505_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Stitch Rip-Her at the pivot line.<br />
All photos by the excellent and generous Richard Lowes.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
In our practice space we have very little clearance between the edge of a full size track and the boards. For safety reasons, we've marked out a track that is 80% of the official size, giving us a little bit of room on the sides.<br />
<br />
What that means is that we have two tracks laid out, one full size and another that is just as wide as a full track but the corners are sharper.<br />
<br />
You'd think that we'd be better at not cutting the inside line when it's a whole three feet further in than normal, but it doesn't always work out that way.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/?action=view&current=422209_10150658903006554_692351553_11278564_1137595670_n.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="266" src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/422209_10150658903006554_692351553_11278564_1137595670_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Black lines are the full track, yellow is the 80%. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>For the officials, the center can become a little bit squishy.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/?action=view&current=428742_10150658902801554_692351553_11278562_1042797699_n.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="266" src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/428742_10150658902801554_692351553_11278562_1042797699_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Refs travel in packs too.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>And the outside, well, it helps to be a good jumper.<br />
<br />
As an inside pack ref, every time a jam ref goes by waving the hand sign for 'not lead jammer' you can get several <em>thwaps</em> across the hips. We're all in very close.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/?action=view&current=422472_10150658905886554_692351553_11278618_1672019602_n.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="266" src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/422472_10150658905886554_692351553_11278618_1672019602_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Skating in bounds minor.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>This past scrimmage - because scrimmages are fun! - it was decided that the refs would get to play a line at the last jam before the half and the last jam of the game. All of the refs in our league are also players and believeyoume, as much as I enjoy reffing, it's still tough to watch all your buddies playing while you're on the inside, taking care of business. <br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/?action=view&current=421994_10150662331141554_692351553_11292317_2005891151_n.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="266" src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/421994_10150662331141554_692351553_11292317_2005891151_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://pickacheek.blogspot.com/2012/01/fatals-doll.html" target="_blank">Fatal</a> on the jammer line.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>So, just before half time, five of us put away our whistles, pulled out our mouth guards, and hopped onto the track. A few skaters were pulled in for there first attempts at reffing (scrimmages are all about learning). We probably should of did a quick jersey change, but there I will say there are a few advantages to having the other team feel a bit uncomfortable about hitting you.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/?action=view&current=419582_10150662331316554_692351553_11292319_161103485_n.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="266" src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/419582_10150662331316554_692351553_11292319_161103485_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mind fuck.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
Below is my favorite photo from the night. That's Jester holding back the jammer and everyone else while I'm... I think I'm about to do something. Something brilliant. Yes, let's just go with that.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/?action=view&current=399953_10150658904171554_692351553_11278586_548457490_n.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="266" src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/399953_10150658904171554_692351553_11278586_548457490_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Attaboy Jester!</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
A big thanks to all the skaters who let the refs have their brief moments on the track. Getting to ref, play a little, and <a href="http://pickacheek.blogspot.com/2011/12/lexi-defense.html" target="_blank">actually knocking Lexi on her ass</a>, it was a great night.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://s43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/?action=view&current=403370_10150662332246554_692351553_11292333_673890419_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="266" src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/403370_10150662332246554_692351553_11292333_673890419_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>Charity Indietuteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13517919253368724623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9062892181190970298.post-10860825529822621382012-01-29T17:25:00.000-08:002012-01-29T17:26:38.484-08:00Fatal's dollHello! I'm still alive! I am... busy. Really, I'm at the arena six days a week either practicing, running a practice or in a meeting. Too busy doing to really talk about it. Which is how it goes with the sport that devours lives.<br />
<br />
Speaking of being alive, or, rather the opposite, I just wanted to show you the stuffed doll I made for my teammate Fatal Fantasy. Fatal is a player and ref. The doll's dress is based upon one her ref jerseys.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://s43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/?action=view&current=013-8.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="400" src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/013-8.jpg" width="385" /></a></div><br />
Cut track!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://s43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/?action=view&current=026-4.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="400" src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/026-4.jpg" width="346" /></a></div><br />
I even managed to make a little pair of roller skates to go on her.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://s43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/?action=view&current=022-4.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="275" src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/022-4.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
If you are interested in reading more (and seeing the skeleton doll without her clothes on), you can <a href="http://indietutes.blogspot.com/2012/01/fatal-fantasy-squeaker-skeleton-doll.html" target="_blank">visit my other blog</a> (the one known as 'the blog of mine people actually read') and check it out.Charity Indietuteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13517919253368724623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9062892181190970298.post-2648123074359340622012-01-05T09:46:00.000-08:002012-01-05T09:46:33.091-08:00hitting class in the school of smashy smashyHave I mentioned that I teach at the school of smashy-smashy? I am our league's fresh meat coordinator and as such our newest skaters, poor souls, are subject weekly to my idea of derby. Or at least my idea of who should be teaching derby. I am <span style="font-size: large;">eternally grateful</span> to our guest coaches who have ventured into our fresh meat class and shared what they know. You make the fresh meat, and their coordinator, very happy. <br />
<br />
I'm just putting the final touches on a practice for our fresh meat that will introduce hip and shoulder hits. It will be the first time this group of fresh meat will be hitting each other and I feel about as nervous as someone who has just washed and shined their <span style="font-size: large;">brand new truck</span> and is about to drive it home down a dusty, loose <span style="font-size: large;">gravel road</span>. <br />
<br />
I hope they don't get chipped and dented. It would seriously reduce their resale value.<br />
<br />
I have <a href="http://pickacheek.blogspot.com/2010/07/enough-rope-to-trip-myself.html" target="_blank">written about some of my proto-hitting during</a> my fresh meat time and I can say with all honesty, learning how to hit is funny as fucking hell. I think the humour value of contact sports is greatly under appreciated. There is <span style="font-size: large;">accidental boob jabs</span><span style="font-size: small;">, ass punches, and, of course, the couldn't-hit-the-side-of-the-barn misses that send the failed hitter three feet past their intended target with a clattery bounce off the floor while a gleeful hittee waves their arms and <em>nyah-nyahs</em> while casual bystanders point and laugh. And that's just <span style="font-size: large;">what your coaches will do</span> while demonstrating. Wait until you get your turn. Good times!</span><br />
<br />
Of course, even with all the giggles, the first hits are a little nerve wracking. <a href="http://pickacheek.blogspot.com/2010/07/i-am-scary-rwarrr.html" target="_blank">For everybody</a>. For those of us who do not have athletic backgrounds but do possess a well imprinted sense of personal space, those first tentative bumps with the hips is as much of a <span style="font-size: large;">psychological break through</span> as a physical action. It takes awhile to be comfortable with it. Even longer to start hitting like you mean it.<br />
<br />
While planning this fresh meat practice, the various bits about hitting and hitters I have figured out over the past couple of years has been floating through my helmet holder. Beyond the actual technique, there are couple of themes have jumped out at me and <span style="font-size: large;">I wish that someone might of told me</span> or some of the rookies I've met before we've gone and hurt or embarrassed ourselves. <br />
<br />
To my freshies, who are about to chip their paint jobs and put a couple of dings in their fenders this Tuesday, <span style="font-size: large;">hitting is about effective game play</span>, not beating the crap out of somebody. When you hit, you are attempting to control an opposing player. There are several ways to move somebody to where you want them to be - either out of your way, off the track entirely or to someplace where you can control their speed and movements - and hitting is only one option from many. <span style="font-size: large;">Learn to use hitting as a tool</span> to further your team's goals and game play, not as a show stopper.<br />
<br />
Hitting comes from your belly. It's not about throwing everything you've got at someone else shoulder first. It's not throwing at all. Aggression is awesome, but throwing yourself means either getting an elbows' penalty when you try to right yourself, biffing it when you make contact (or, worse, fail to) and maybe even hurting yourself as well. Control should be maintained, your balance in check, and that comes from <span style="font-size: large;">a strong core</span> and being able to shift your weight in ways to effectively counter your leaning motion. I know this because I seriously need to work on it. We'll figure this one out together. <br />
<br />
Most of all, <span style="font-size: large;">do not believe</span>, that as a big tough derby girl, <span style="font-size: large;">your job is to take a hit</span>. I've heard it said so many times by new players, that the most important thing is not making the big hit but being able to get up after someone hits you. <br />
<br />
No, no, no! <br />
<br />
Yes, it's important to know what to do when someone checks you, but if you are getting knocked down over and over again during a scrimmage or game, you need to work on your track awareness, number one, and two, omg, <span style="font-size: large;">move your ass!</span> Do not stand there and 'take a hit'. You are not an effective player if you constantly tensing yourself into a ball, absorbing impacts, or rolling around on the ground. Get out of the way and do your goddamn job! Blockers, block! Either counter check and get yourself to where you need to be or avoid the hit entirely and get yourself to where you need to be. If you are a jammer, being hit and knocked down slows you down and wears you out. Don't take the hit! Run!<br />
<br />
Just sayin'.<br />
<br />
As for the actual hitting part of hitting, we'll go through that on Tuesday. Just keep in mind, as with all derby skills, those we teach in fresh meat and beyond seem to exist in isolation and it's easy to lose track of why we are learning a particular skill or movement, forgetting that there is a grand scheme. All these falls and stops, pushing, leaning, and getting low (stance!) are skills that you are going to use in a game one day. Keep that overall goal in mind and <span style="font-size: large;">aim to develop safe and effective skills </span>and not worry about whether you are doing things picture perfect or exactly the same way one of your derby heros do. <br />
<br />
It's going to be fun and maybe a bit messy. Hopefully no one will have to visit the body shop after. I know you are all ready for it. I just hope I am.Charity Indietuteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13517919253368724623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9062892181190970298.post-42598785812150586342011-12-18T07:23:00.000-08:002011-12-18T07:23:58.469-08:00knowing my placeIt's been a couple of months since I've actually played roller derby. <span style="font-size: large;">I've been learning the reffin'</span> and all game and scrimmage opportunities have been <span style="font-size: large;">given over to figuring out if I'm a giraffe or a zebra.</span><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/?action=view&current=374765_10150518529596554_692351553_10764147_1703681253_n.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/374765_10150518529596554_692351553_10764147_1703681253_n.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo by Richard Lowes.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
I am both.<br />
<br />
Last night, though, I got to play. Reffing, I'm sorry to say, does not improve physical game play skills. It does help with <span style="font-size: large;">understanding the pack</span> and how it moves and the game overall. I felt yesterday that I knew what was going on quite well. But having the ability to do anything about it was <span style="font-size: large;">another matter entirely</span>. <br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/?action=view&current=379525_10150520715626554_692351553_10771130_257364469_n.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/379525_10150520715626554_692351553_10771130_257364469_n.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo by Richard Lowes.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
I also know quite a bit more about legal game play and <span style="font-size: large;">the tendency to shout out infractions</span> is already well established. Colour, number, penalty - I called it mid-jam. I did not say, <span style="font-size: large;">'tweet!'</span> Though I might of if the penalty-maker didn't take my moment of distraction while I brooded over <span style="font-size: large;">the essential unfairness of it all</span> to knock the wind out of me.<br />
<br />
Reminder: <span style="font-size: large;">be a player or be a ref.</span> You can not be both at the same time.<br />
<br />
And it's true. All of our refs in our league are also players. I've seen them on countless occasions trying to be both and what usually happens is that someone gets knocked down. Jammers who stop skating so they can signal to the jam ref, shouting at the pack refs, declaring, loudly, "Pack is front!" or, worse, rhetorically asking, <span style="font-size: large;">"Where the pack? No where! That's right, there is NO pack! Call this shit already!"</span> instead of, ohIdon'tknow, trying to reform the fucking pack.<br />
<br />
So, yes, that was me last night. Briefly. I'd like to say that <span style="font-size: large;">momentarily losing the ability to breath</span> is enough of a wake up call that I shall not try to ref while playing. At least that's my intention.<br />
<br />
Of course, I probably would of taken that hit no matter what I was thinking at the time. Last night I travelled down to Calgary to play against the Hellions, CRDA's all-star team, as part of their try out process. They are a group of women with some badass skills and it's completely<span style="font-size: large;"> unsurprising</span> how they can dominate little ol' me.<br />
<br />
Another fun thing was I got to meet CRDA's <a href="http://twisted-skein.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Dazzler</a>. I love meeting derby bloggers. I always get this little thrill, sort of like meeting someone famous. Of course, <span style="font-size: large;">us writers are usually famous in our own minds</span>, so I think my thrill is justified.<br />
<br />
Thanks Calgary for a great scrimmage and your fabulous people! Charity Indietuteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13517919253368724623noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9062892181190970298.post-42685830700762981472011-12-06T12:48:00.000-08:002011-12-06T15:07:34.157-08:00the Lexi defenseI was going to post something about all the lovely things happening in my little part of the derby-verse and maybe throw something in about a little thing world cup thing-y, but I'm not feeling very much like a reporter today so instead I'm going to tell you about my girl Lexisonfire. <br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/?action=view&current=182430_10150151541531352_578716351_8683034_3206378_n.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="320" src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/182430_10150151541531352_578716351_8683034_3206378_n.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> Lexisonfire by Papa Razzo.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>You know, I'm not entirely sure that's even the proper way her name is spelled or spaced. <span style="font-size: large;">I'm a little bit crap about derby names.</span> There's all sorts of odd spellings and strange symbols and I never get the joke. Word games have never been my strong suit. Perhaps that's why I'm a blocker. And a ref. <br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">In fact, I am not sure of the actual given names of most of my derby friends, either, unless they have somehow resisted the pressure to make their Facebook name their derby name. I myself identify myself now through my derby name on Facebook, mainly after realizing that 99% of my 'friends' were derbies. <span style="font-size: large;">Most of whom I would not recognize without a helmet on.</span> News from any family or non derby friends has long ago been buried under an avalanche of derby related updates. Sorry family, but there is no Dana, only Zuul.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">But back to whatshername, Lexi. I'm really feeling the need to tell you about her. First of all because I have all sorts of great pictures of her.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/?action=view&current=264284_10150294890181554_692351553_9252403_8320182_n.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="320" src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/264284_10150294890181554_692351553_9252403_8320182_n.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Whatsherface by Richard Lowes</td></tr>
</tbody></table></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">And also because I'm having a really hard time with her lately. Frankly, <span style="font-size: large;">she's a bit of a thug</span>.</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/?action=view&current=320883_10150369285170250_643360249_10240522_1028271756_n.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="320" src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/320883_10150369285170250_643360249_10240522_1028271756_n.jpg" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hammer and nail by Papa Razzo</td></tr>
</tbody></table>I won't go into what started it (though it involved a <a href="http://www.allderbydrills.com/2011/09/fire-drill.html" target="_blank">fire drill</a>, a ball, and all the restraint I could muster to not clock the bitch) but my <span style="font-size: large;">urge to generally push around, check and knock down Lexi</span> has been great since that day. <br />
<br />
Of course, wishing to knock Lexi down and actually doing it are two different things. I will tell you now, with <span style="font-size: large;">no small amount of pride</span>, that my very first knock down ever was on Lexi, but it's actually a rather unusual happening. The first problem is that she's a sturdy player and track aware. She also has a wicked hit. I've seen her hit players hard enough to get air time before crashing into the boards on more than one occasion. She also excels at surprise hits towards the center. This is one blocker I'd keep an eye on, even if she wasn't picking on me.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/?action=view&current=315597_10150360884606554_692351553_9943249_3697389_n.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="213" src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/315597_10150360884606554_692351553_9943249_3697389_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yep, there it is. By Richard Lowes.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>But here is the other thing. Just warming up before practice, I like to take a few pot shots at Lexi, but instead of dodging or telling me to fuck off, Lexi drops a shoulder and drifts up to meet my block <span style="font-size: large;">like a torpedo locked onto a target</span> and we collide like an iceberg hitting a large cruise ship. The big problem is that, being approximately the same weight, my hull fails to crumple and we basically bounce off one another and experience a bodily vibrating sensation akin to striking a metal pole with an aluminum baseball bat.<br />
<br />
Kind of painful. And not smart.<br />
<br />
You'd think I'd learn. Or she'd learn. But no. Stupid is as stupid does and now it's gotten to the point that when we lock eyes upon each other during a free moment, Lexi <span style="font-size: large;">squints her eyes and sneers</span> while she takes her mouthguard down from her <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nuCq0aZiPT0" target="_blank">Snork</a> parking position on her helmet and I have another ill fated go at her.<br />
<br />
Kind of painful. And not smart. But good fun!<br />
<br />
So, in honour of Lexissomethingorrather, I hereby am abusing my blogging powers and presenting to you something un-derby that you may not know about Lexi but that may, one day, <span style="font-size: large;">save you from the same bone jarring slide into the wall that others have suffered.</span><br />
<br />
Got your notebook?<br />
<br />
Alright, the goods. Despite her generally great taste in music, <span style="font-size: large;">Lexi is physically compelled to dance to Metallica</span>. As in, if she hears even a few riffs of Metallica while out listening to a band or in a club, she will rise from her seat like a young maiden under a vampire's spell and waft towards the dance floor to thrash around in a trance until the fit is broken by a change in music. <br />
<br />
It's un unusual affliction, but, then again, Lexi is an unusual individual.<br />
<br />
So, if you ever see Lexi coming on the track or in a dark alley and she's squinting at your while unhinging her mouthguard from her helmet, <span style="font-size: large;">quickly start humming the chorus to Enter Sandman</span> to save yourself. Instead of hitting you, she'll be overcome with a fit of head banging and you can safely make you get away.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">xoxo Lexi!</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://s43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/?action=view&current=297683_10150369272025250_643360249_10240446_2008191762_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="212" src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/297683_10150369272025250_643360249_10240446_2008191762_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Charity Indietuteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13517919253368724623noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9062892181190970298.post-88906687788449700672011-11-16T23:30:00.000-08:002011-11-16T23:30:43.754-08:00zero to so-soRoller derby, for me, has been as much about my psychological growth as physical. I have spent so much time feeling out of place, out of shape, out classed and out ranked at derby that <span style="font-size: large;">it's really a wonder</span> that I'm still doing this.<br />
<br />
For the first year of derby, every single practice <a href="http://youtu.be/YMNnZ5TRHsM" target="_blank">felt like this</a>.<br />
<br />
Now <span style="font-size: large;">only every second practice</span> feels like that. <br />
<br />
Over my just about two years now in derby, my body has reshaped itself (without losing a single damn pound). My mind has also. I believe now that I am tougher, harder to please and less susceptible to cowardice. My language is rougher, my friendships more unpredictable and fun (with a higher tendency towards bruise inducing behaviors) and I actually touch people now. I didn't before, I had a serious aversion to contact. Especially hugs. <span style="font-size: large;">Hugs made me gag.</span> But now, these days, I sometimes hug people just to say 'Hi, it's nice to see you!' That is how much derby has changed me. <br />
<br />
<br />
(I realise that that last confession just opened me up to a world of gratuitous hugging amongst those who claim to be my friends and teammates, but it's still better than<span style="font-size: large;"> the frenzy of ass-slapping</span> I endured at tonight's practice. What is with these people?!)<br />
<br />
I am still in a bit of awe at myself for sticking with this derby thing. <span style="font-size: large;">It must be a drug they put in the wrist guards</span> because from the very beginning I've felt more vulnerable and filled with self-doubt than ever before in my life but I keep coming back for more.<br />
My <a href="http://pickacheek.blogspot.com/2010/07/highlights-of-first-derby-practice.html" target="_blank">very first derby practice</a> ever I fell down on my head and <span style="font-size: large;">barrel rolled myself across the track</span> so many times I was worried about driving home with my double vision.<br />
<br />
My <a href="http://pickacheek.blogspot.com/2010/07/derby-practice-2-track-rash-bruises.html" target="_blank">second practice</a> we timed our twenty five in five and I achieved <span style="font-size: large;">a whole eleven laps in five minutes</span> of skating. <br />
<br />
My third practice I <span style="font-size: large;">tore a ligament in the top of my foot</span> trying to get up from a knee drop and had to rest it for a whole month.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I clearly wasn't made for this.</span> <br />
<br />
It was a whole eight months before I was ready to benchmark. Transitions took six months, crossovers three months, plows a whole seven months. I do not have a blogging record on much of it because it was so painful to write about. Not painful like my ass, thanks to tonight's <span style="font-size: large;">bizarre gang-spanking</span>, but painful to my ego and psyche. I can sum it up for you, though: <span style="font-size: large;">sweat, humiliation, and playing zombie sniper with those nagging self doubts.</span> Every time one of those little fuckers tried to work it's way into my brain BAM! I knew if I let even one of them in, I'd be all over for me.<br />
<br />
You know, it must be said, that benchmarking is not the achievement I thought it would be. It was only the first step in many difficult steep steps. My <a href="http://pickacheek.blogspot.com/2010/08/back-down-to-bottom-of-pack.html" target="_blank">first post after benchmarking</a>, <span style="font-size: large;">I am clearly underwhelmed with myself</span>. I wish that this story right now would be ending with some triumphant, climatic crescendo, where I win over a serious lack of athleticism and self-doubt to become champion of all derby everywhere.<br />
<br />
But, of course it doesn't. I am quite firmly an intermediate level player. I'm now just beginning to be comfortable enough on my skates to almost forget I'm wearing them sometimes. I've achieved my mediocrity and brief hiatus from self consciousness by participating in five or six practices a week.<br />
<br />
That seems like a lot, even to me, but it's what it's taking to move me up to so-so player level.<br />
<br />
About now you are wondering why I am telling you this sad tale of lameness. So am I actually. <span style="font-size: large;">I'm kind of bumming myself out.</span> But, oh yes, why I persist in something I am so bad at: I'm having just a shitload of fun. I like being more fit. I like pushing myself. I love every tiny bit of confidence I've worked for on that track and absolutely cherish every knock down and jammer push out I do. I like having started doing eleven laps in five minutes and working myself up to over thirty in the same time. <span style="font-size: large;">Working so hard for something makes the reward even sweeter.</span> <br />
<br />
Which is why I believe that if you are feeling overwhelmed, fearful and unfit for derby, you should stick it out anyway. You don't owe it to your coach or your friends or fellow freshies, but to yourself. This is you growing muscles and attitude and nobody can do the work for you. <span style="font-size: large;">Relish the challenge.</span> It's what makes mediocre feel like winning a gold medal.Charity Indietuteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13517919253368724623noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9062892181190970298.post-14549518386855286962011-11-03T22:03:00.000-07:002011-11-03T22:03:12.602-07:00Super Widower<span style="font-size: large;">Behind every great derby player, there is an even greater wife.</span><br />
<br />
I have completely failed to find myself a derby wife. Somehow, maybe somewhat explained by <a href="http://livelovederby.blogspot.com/2011/10/roller-derby-sociology-part-2.html" target="_blank">Bonnie D. Stroir's foray into untangling the hidden sociological mechanisms behind derby politics</a>, I just haven't gone through with that particular rite of passage. <span style="font-size: large;">I just don't get on that well with the ladies.</span><br />
<br />
Or perhaps I'm being fussy, holding out for that special someone that may not exist? I've overly romanticized the perfect wife, one whom will hit with me, hit me, hold my hair back after the after-after party and let me air my gear out in her car on a tournament weekend, and <span style="font-size: large;">my heart beats only for this perfect creature</span> who lives exclusively in my derby dreams? <br />
<br />
Actually, no, <span style="font-size: large;">that's not it.</span> I think I have failed on the derby wife front because I don't really give a rat's ass. I'm just a bit too old for that brand of social corralling and I'd rather just get on with playing the game.<br />
<br />
Plus also I already have a derby mate. <br />
<br />
Tonight, I was talking to my widower, The Man, about derby - what else? - and he was breaking down a certain player's style for me, giving some insight to his skating habits and suggesting what I can do to successfully block them. See, he does this. He watches the games and instinctively recognizes patterns and behaviors exhibited by players and comes up with a counter-move to <span style="font-size: large;">kyptonite their asses</span>. He has helped me before during half-time when I've been up against difficult foes and recently gave his brother, Buster Beaton, a bit of advice that helped him juke out one of the best players around these parts (<a href="http://centralalbertatv.net/categories&c=&lo=&s=mr" target="_blank">you can try to spot it by watching here</a>). I think The Man has an excellent derby brain and would be valuable to our league. <br />
<br />
So, tonight I tried to convince him - once again, with a complete lack of success - as always- to join derby. I said, <span style="font-size: large;">'Come on</span>, you already know the game, you like skating, you're already going on a damn derby road trip <em>without me</em>, why don't you just admit it, come out, and sign up already?'<br />
<br />
And The Man says, 'But dear, <span style="font-size: large;">I'm already very involved with derby</span>. Who cares for your orphans? Who brings you sandwiches when you're all day officiating at boot camp? Who listens to you talk about it for hours everyday? Who makes sure your gear is aired out and you have clean fishnets the game? Who slices fruit and vegetables for the half time snacks? Who comes to the bout to sit with family and friends and explain what's happening to them? Who comes with you to the after party and hangs onto your ass all night?'<br />
<br />
And then I realize, omg, I DO have a derby wife! A real one! One that cooks, cleans and does laundry! And gives strategy tips! <span style="font-size: large;">I'm not going to ruin a good thing here</span> by encouraging him to actually get on the track, oh no, he's doing just fine, keeping to his place.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">So, who needs a derby wife anyway?</span> Honestly, I trust my teammates to be there for me on the track and the after party. I skate with a great group of people, players and refs alike, and what good would come from singling someone out? I'm thinking that either I marry the whole lot of them or none. <br />
<br />
Of course, I can afford to take this lofty position on derby courtship, because I know I'll still have clean fishnets when I need them. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I know I wouldn't be able</span> to make the time and energy commitment this sport takes if it wasn't for The "He Who Shall Not Have A Derby Name" Man. So, to the guy who not only brings me bout food, airs gear, washes fishnets AND reads my blog:<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><u>Thank You <3</u></span> </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">And, I forgot to mention, I have an extra practice or two this week, if you don't mind...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"></div>***<br />
(Btw, to check out a little media spot for RDRDA, my Nightshades Vs. Gas City, and an interview with three Team Canada players, <a href="http://centralalbertatv.net/media/184/A_Roller_Derby_weekend_in_Red_Deer/" target="_blank">click here</a>.)Charity Indietuteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13517919253368724623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9062892181190970298.post-78577408064067722632011-10-24T13:37:00.000-07:002011-10-24T13:42:59.306-07:00Skate and Destroy recap<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/?action=view&current=062-5.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="308" src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/062-5.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr>
</tbody></table>Roller derby ate my life.<br />
<br />
Last week I bouted, NSO'd two games, helped benchmark a largish group of rookies who went on to play their games, and reffed for the first time ever.<br />
<br />
I also managed a few hours of sleep, but only after I visited with some good friends and drank the requisite amount of wine to lead to intoxication.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/?action=view&current=315070_10150433525206554_692351553_10401438_1378525020_n.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="266" src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/315070_10150433525206554_692351553_10401438_1378525020_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Stitch Rip-Her whipping off of Cakes on the outside. Photo by Richard Lowes.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>The bootcamp was amazing. Actually, the rookies were amazing. They came to camp at 8 am Saturday morning, did dryland with Team Canada's Taz (I mention this specifically because Taz is relentlessly fit and does her manical best to make others so also), had various skating classes with some (from personal experience) tough coaches, and kept at it all day. The next at 9 am, we had good number of them skating laps and going through their skills to benchmark. And then they bouted!<br />
<br />
I got the easy bit. I skipped the dryland and drills and went straight to the track with the Gas City Rollers, to play a challenging and hit-y kind of game.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/?action=view&current=297478_10150433525791554_692351553_10401451_974741143_n.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="266" src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/297478_10150433525791554_692351553_10401451_974741143_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lip Lash, who's age shall remain undisclosed at this moment but know that you should be bowing down at this woman's feet and telling her how bloody awesome she is, cuttin' in for a BANG! Photo by Richard Lowes (aka, Mr. Lash).</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
Of all the Nightshades games I've played (everyone to date), this last one was my favorite. First off, I had some friends in the crowd, who yelled out encouragements to violence and generalized threats. Second, Gas City brought some talented and fierce players and it was absolute joy to be able to match them. The game was close all the way through, and our team just managed to squeak ahead for the last couple of jams. <br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/?action=view&current=301568_10150433623936554_692351553_10402168_778201418_n.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="266" src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/301568_10150433623936554_692351553_10402168_778201418_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Fatal Fantasy, Lady Laceration and Lacee Long-Stalkin walling up. Photo by Richard Lowes.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>I am incredibly proud of our ladies. Not for winning. Don't tell anyone, but I hardly think to look at the score during a game. Sometime during the second half, when the bench starts getting a little intense, I remember to look up and check it out to see what everyone is talking about. What I am proud of is that we do teamwork well and maintain a positive vibe, no matter how much the game heats up. <br />
<br />
We were a good match up for the Gas City Rollers even though our team foundations are quite dissimilar. Of course I can only know from observation (sometimes, very close), but Gas City Rollers seem like a team of jammers: fast, smart and lithe. My team is one of blockers. We also play smart, but we tend to take over a space and stick to one another like we have our own gravitational pulls. When we work together, we can seriously get in the way. I have watched opposing jammers round the corner and see one of our back walls of gray up just up the track and their whole body slumps slightly. <br />
<br />
Thanks Gas City for an excellent game. Can't wait for you to have another crack at us.<br />
<br />
I mentioned up at the top that I'm blowing girls now too, but you'll have to wait for another post to hear that story. I've got to rush off and get prepared for our recruitment night tonight. I'm excited to meet some new skaters and see some of our freshies who are coming for a free skate. Our new derby school starts in a couple of weeks and I'm eyeball deep in planning drills and finding coaches. Btw, now is a good time to share any resources for derby drills or coaching - I could use all the knowledge I can get. Or for reffing - that too!<br />
<br />
I said roller derby ate my life. Did I mention that I'm not too sad about it?Charity Indietuteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13517919253368724623noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9062892181190970298.post-66296395167832902592011-10-16T13:19:00.000-07:002011-10-16T13:19:18.082-07:00the third team... needs a beerHey, both of you, I'd like to invite you over to the sports blog, Any Sport Any Time, to <a href="http://anysportanytime.ca/2011/10/local-set-to-referee-the-roller-derby-world-cup/">read my post on RDRDA's Papa Razzo reffing the World Cup.</a><br />
<br />
Referring is seriously hard work, no doubt about it, but refs are seldom in the spotlight like the players are. It's hard to say exactly why.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://s43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/?action=view&current=8120_160318055249_643360249_4072555_8157696_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/8120_160318055249_643360249_4072555_8157696_n.jpg" /></a></div><br />
It's one thing to argue, from a spectator's point of view, an invisible ref is a good ref, but us players know that this game wouldn't be nearly as much fun without them.<br />
<br />
You should always thank the officials, refs and NSOs, after every game and practice. Even if you think that some ref is a nasty piece of work and had it in for you the whole game, <em>thank them</em>. They are there for the love of the sport, just like you, and every call they make is a chance for you to become a better player.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I'd like to start a trend of buying an official, ref or NSO, a beer after the game.</span> This Buy-An-Offical-A-Beer movement has nothing to do with my decision to learn the reffin' myself so I can help the men out when they get a chance to play - a rare occurance with men's roller derby in Canada. But, if and when I get into some stripes and start pissin' off the players, I would like to mention that I'm particularly fond of pale ale. Not 'light' beer, never making that fuckin' mistake. <em>Pale</em>, damnit.<br />
<br />
So, thank you to every ref that has taken the time to penalize my team. We have become more aware and stronger players because of it. <br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/?action=view&current=189405_10150149818455250_643360249_8498488_5387597_n.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="320" src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e386/vegbee/dashiki/189405_10150149818455250_643360249_8498488_5387597_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Papa Razzo by Christina Molendyk of <a href="http://www.argentdawn.ca/">Argent Dawn Photography</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table> Charity Indietuteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13517919253368724623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9062892181190970298.post-21195931468414601772011-10-14T13:33:00.000-07:002011-10-14T13:37:00.259-07:00count 'em<span style="font-size: large;">Sometimes I have to sit back and marvel at what a bizarre place derby has taken me to in my personal life. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Last night</span> I was showing The Man the bruise on my ass, because that is what derby people do. It takes about a week for my butt bruises to show. My thigh bruises appear after four days, arms the day after. I'm going to write a paper one day about the time delayed presentation of minor hematomas relative to location on the body.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">So, I'm showing The Man my ass</span> and I tell him that I got the bruise during last weeks scrimmage when my jammer went through the pack on the apex, giving me a not so gentle shove/punch out of the way. It was then that I had one of those moments of cognitive dissidence when I suddenly had a hard time believing what I was saying. I just thought that <span style="font-size: large;">when I was an adult</span> I'd spend the time in the evening talking to my partner about more, well, adult things. Politics or symphony music or taxes or something. Not showing him the bruise on my ass I got playing a game. On roller skates. I suddenly felt weird and insecure about my status as a grown-up.<br />
<br />
But then I started to feel weirder that The Man didn't feel weird about this. So I broke down the story of my ass bruise for him in more detail. I said, "Gingerdead Man, that's his name, punched me in the ass. On roller skates. Honey, <span style="font-size: large;">some dude</span> <span style="font-size: large;">punched me in the ass hard enough to leave a bruise</span>. What do you think about that?"<br />
<br />
I thought it worth at least a raise of an eyebrow, but apparently not. What kind of relationship is this?! The Man only said, with suspicious eagerness, "Yeah. So, you got one on the other side? Want me to check?"<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">No.</span><br />
<br />
I guess I'm just at a point in my life where it's actually mundane to have a guy punch me in the ass. <span style="font-size: large;">Obviously, it wasn't my first time.</span> All sorts of strange contact is made on and off the track among derby people. Last night at practice, for instance, Runaway Pain (yep, that's her name), felt compelled to bump her pelvis into my ass repeatedly into me to clarify a rule during a ref discussion. And then she did it again for fun. In fact, it happens frequently enough that it's not really worth talking about. This is what maturity looks like to me. The closer I get to forty, <span style="font-size: large;">the more</span> <span style="font-size: large;">frequently I get punched in the ass and dry humped</span> by people I don't know well enough to be able to look them up in the phone book. <br />
<br />
I'm not complaining. <span style="font-size: large;">Better to be forty and bruised than forty and bored.</span> But I'm not enjoying the bruises and pain with fetish-like glee, either. And I will say that if The Man came home after a night of having his ass punched, his groin stomped and his booty blocked, he'd have a hell of a lot to say about it and I wouldn't be allowed to just say, 'yeah,' and turn back to an episode of Glee. I would definitely have to pull out the ice packs and sooth his battered and bruised... ego.<br />
<br />
Fact is, when it comes to getting out there and putting my ass on the line (literally), I've got more balls than The Man. Yes, that's weird, by the numbers alone. This is normal here. Is it grown-up? Probably not. Is it hurting anyone but me? Well, yes, <span style="font-size: large;">but they asked for it.</span><br />
<br />
So, yes it is a bit weird how me, as a mature woman, chooses to spend her evenings. Weird and wonderful. Not so much for old school type people anyway. Have I mentioned that The Man also isn't concerned that his brother hits me?Charity Indietuteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13517919253368724623noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9062892181190970298.post-31773092258177026722011-10-11T20:23:00.000-07:002011-10-11T20:23:00.989-07:00runs with stupid<span style="font-size: large;">In line with my ongoing efforts to improve my fitness</span>, I've recently began running. Well, run/walking, or, some days, walk/running. I've been alternating days between a shorter run of interval sprints and a longer, slow jog. <br />
<br />
Never haven been much of a sprinter, I'm finding the fast days really challenging. I think it has something to do with the length of my legs. They're too gangly, messages take too much time to travel the length. By the time my feet get the notice to speed up, the thighs are already well into the run and my feet end up <span style="font-size: large;">desperately trying to make sense</span> of the sudden violent assault by asphalt. Think of a long train that begins to accelerate from the front engine where each subsequent car is jerked into motion. Not tremendously graceful or comfortable start up. And then think of that extended train trying to come to a sudden stop, with the back cars shoving up on the front until the whole shebang comes to a painful screeching halt, fifty feet past where the cow stood on the tracks. This is me doing sprints. <br />
<br />
I've been marking out my sprinting distances using power line poles placed just far enough apart to seriously wind me. The method is to sprint one length and walk two (briskly). That is two whole lengths to <span style="font-size: large;">dread the inevitable</span> arrival of the fourth pole that indicates it's time to sprint again. To any casual observer, I must look like I suffer from some muscle spasm condition, tragically triggered by proximity to power poles, which causes me to awkwardly race forward a whole fifty feet before I am able to regain control.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">But those are the good days.</span><br />
<br />
The slow days are especially trying. Not more tiring, per se, though I do do a pretty good job of wearing myself however slow I go. Still, once I hit my pace, which is an admittedly slow trot that is the <span style="font-size: large;">school zone version of a run</span>, I can pretty much go forever. On these days I take a leisurely, lung-straining trot around the neighborhood and end up at the outdoor fitness park where I proceed to make my quads scream. It's actually quite idyllic, in a sweaty way. Well, most of it.<br />
<br />
The problem, my friends, is that <span style="font-size: large;">I can't run in a straight line</span>. I'm forever falling off the curb or just barely grazing a tree. I seem to have the spatial awareness and grace of a berserker robot. It's not only dangerous to be suddenly taken out at the thigh by a low hedge three feet off the sidewalk into some body's yard or to run directly into the grill of a parked car, <span style="font-size: large;">it's also embarrassing</span>. Especially since I have spent significant amount of time practicing track awareness. It's one thing to be knocked over by another player while playing derby, but to find myself ass over teakettle because I veered into some one's garbage can is another thing entirely. <br />
<br />
It's taken me awhile to figure out why I can't run straight. When I walk I hardly every trip over things (barring small children, <span style="font-size: large;">who are sneaky and move like tiny ninjas</span> and deserve whatever they get) and am generally not clumsy. I also sprint while staying to the center of the path and have yet to run into one of my power pole markers. So why, at medium speed, do I run like I'm chasing a fly around the room?<br />
<br />
I had a hint one day when I was once again tripping down a curb, worried that I was going to sprain my ankle and fuck up derby, when I noticed that <span style="font-size: large;">my head was cranked right around</span> and I was looking in the <span style="font-size: large;">exact opposite direction</span> that I was running. As I correcting my course back on the sidewalk, I noted that I glanced over my left shoulder, and then my right, and back over my left. And all the way down the block, left, right, left, right. <span style="font-size: large;">I never looked ahead of me at all.</span> Practically running blind.<br />
<br />
This seemed familiar, all this head turning. Almost like my head was... on a... swivel...<br />
<br />
Where have I heard that before?<br />
<br />
Ha! This mid-pace run takes about the same effort as maintaining pack speed. Derby instinct kicks in and I put my head on a swivel. It's the same derby instinct that causes me to throw my hip towards any person that leans into me suddenly. Generally, on the track, I don't crash into trees or parked cars, but I have been known to run into a person or two. <span style="font-size: large;">What saves me when playing</span> is that I'm looking all over the place, keeping my eye on everybody. On a run, not much is going on, and I space out into my zen place. I'm not terribly motivated to look all around and the head swivel goes on auto-pilot. I just do what I've been drilled to do. Left, stride, stride, right, stride, stride, left, stride, stride, parked car - crash!<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">If chances of collision is going to continue being high</span> while running, perhaps I should be wearing my pads and helmet. I certainly could use the knee pads and ankle support from my shin guards. That would also help my <span style="font-size: large;">'neighborhood character' reputation</span> that has been rapidly growing since I've started running. Because walking out of my house three or four days a week wearing booty shorts and carrying a bag big and heavy enough to hide a body in isn't enough.<br />
<br />
After being almost exclusively involved in derby for awhile, trying new activities is about as disconcerning as switching from driving a standard to an automatic transmission. I find a part of me hovering over the metaphorical missing gear shift and clutch, thinking <span style="font-size: large;">I should be doing more</span>. I realize how intense derby is, not just physically, but mentally, and how much of me is engaged in the game. Running may be good for my body, but the lack of mental focus has me running into the street, apparently looking for ways to hurt myself. <br />
<br />
Or maybe I just need a buddy or three to jog along with, who can wall up with me and keep me on the right path. Just heaven help any race walker who tries to pass us. Charity Indietuteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13517919253368724623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9062892181190970298.post-58738948219409930482011-10-05T23:07:00.000-07:002011-10-05T23:07:59.168-07:00break is over, time to get back to the funTonight was my first practice since the end of August. Our league has been on a break of sorts while we made improvements to our skating space. Now we have, oh, two and a half weeks until our next game. Some observations:<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><u>My ass fell</u></span></div><br />
Sometime during the break my booty drooped. While it takes a bit to build up muscle, it goes to hell quickly when you stop using it. I knew it was happening, but when I put on my practice shorts I realized I had a major butt slide going on. <br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><u>It hurts picking my ass back up again</u></span></div><br />
Roller skating really does use muscles that remain hidden and underutilized (with the exception of long distance swimmers and strippers). I have sore muscles right now just from skating. My thighs, my calves, my poor droopy ass, all of it hurts. This is something I haven't felt since I started derby and I am going to keep it in mind at the next fresh meat practice I run. Freshies don't need as much resistance training as more experienced players to make leaps and bounds in improvments. Just coming to practice is a major muscle workout. Roller derby changes you. And change, even good change, can be painful. <br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><u>Garsh, I really missed this shit</u></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div>Until tonight I was unsure if I wanted to play in the next game. I've got my hands full planning our fresh meat program and would like to learn the reffing now too, so I thought I'd maybe take a little break from being an active player. I figured it might be nice to not be over-obligated and not have to make so many practices. But, getting out on the track tonight I remembered all the things I love about this sport: skating, being pushy, getting knocked down and getting back up even stronger. <br />
<br />
Almost two years ago I was so close to letting my fear stop me from going to my very first practice. I thought I was too out of shape (I was). I thought I was too timid (I was and I still am sometimes). I thought I was too old (yep there too, and getting even more so). I thought that they were going to laugh at me (they did, but they let me skate anyway). But with that first time I realized that perhaps I am not made for this sport physically, I am mentally. <span style="font-size: large;">Got tenacity and lack the good sense to stay down? Welcome to roller derby!</span> The muscles and endurance will eventually catch up. I've really been damn lucky to have all the opportunities to play that I have so far.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><u>And, hot damn, scrimmage tomorrow night!</u></span></div><br />
My fallen arse and me will probably get kicked pretty badly, but I'm feeling pretty grateful to just be able to play. No injuries, no hang ups. The only thing keeping me back is myself and my own sore butt. But, I've been getting good at stepping out of my own way and juking my fears. Derby has both showed me that I have a streak of determination and strengthened it with practice. Right now, what scares me more than having derby take up too much of my life is having my ass stay down and refuse to get up. Literally and literally. Charity Indietuteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13517919253368724623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9062892181190970298.post-6674711228204412222011-09-20T15:26:00.000-07:002011-09-20T15:26:29.495-07:00my kid: personal trainer<span style="font-size: large;">With my ongoing efforts</span> to address my lapsed fitness as of late and test some of my fresh meat fitness training before I actually <u>insist</u> anyone else doing it, I've added some daily resistance training to my life. Me and exercise, we go way back. When I was a kid my mom used to <span style="font-size: large;">rock out to Jane Fonda</span> and her aerobizing ilk. I learned to associate a rhythmic bass beat with leg lifts and climbing invisible stairs. I was surprisingly old before I discovered that not all dancing involved a <em>one-two side step and kick, hand ups, whooo!</em> To this day, when dancing at the after party, I still struggle with my need to point my fingers up at the sky and count <em>and six, and seven, and whooo!</em><br />
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Though, maybe in derby, this isn't really <span style="font-size: large;">odd enough behavior</span> to deserve commentary.<br />
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In middle school I did a fair amount of long distance running. Couldn't sprint worth a darn (today my quick feet today always look like I'm skating through knee high syrup) but, man, I could go and go and go. My favorite place to run was around the 1/4 mile track. Round and round. Seems a familiar pattern somehow...<br />
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And then when I was older I... wait... <span style="font-size: large;">Nope.</span> I have no particular sport or enthusiasm that I can claim I did consistently. A bit of running, a yoga class here and there, mostly just trying to keep up with life.<br />
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So, this is me now, on the wrong side of thirty, <span style="font-size: large;">humbling myself daily</span> doing push-ups, sit-ups, planks and squats on the living room floor. <br />
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With children around it is <span style="font-size: large;">phenomenally difficult</span> to find time to do a consistent exercise routine. Or to find enough space without conking a miniature person on the head (no free weights here before the kids' bedtime). I know that children keep you busy and certainly exhaust you thoroughly, but it's not the type of activity that enhances fitness. It's more of a shuffle-y, bent back series of minor disasters and the type of servitude associated with scullery maids in fairy tales. In the end I'm more likely to have a back ache rather than any appreciable gain in cardiovascular endurance.<br />
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Trying to integrate a bit of intentional exercise into my day has me working hard in short bursts during serendipitous times when I'm suddenly involved in a game of tag or the kids are jumping on me and I can do some leg lifts with children as weights. I'm becoming good at <span style="font-size: large;">sneaking fitness in</span> through bits and pieces. The stairs done twice, once with the kids wrapped around my ankles and back up again with the stroller, the skipping demo, the looong walk with an exhausted preschooler riding piggyback. <br />
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I'm always on the lookout for the <span style="font-size: large;">extended cardio workout.</span> Something that will get my heart working harder without having to stop every two seconds to untangle children from my feet or put them into time out. Today I was particularly excited because I noticed how fast my three year old can scoot on his tricycle. When I had to run to catch up to him in the yard, I thought there might be an opportunity for both of us here. If we hit our most excellent local walking trails, he can ride and gain a bit of freedom, and I can run and gain a bit of endurance.<br />
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I wasn't entirely certain I could keep up with him if I let him out of our enclosed yard, since he has endless energy and I am, sadly, finite in the stamina department. Still, <span style="font-size: large;">to test this</span>, I put on my running shoes and sports bra while the boy put on his helmet and grabbed his trike, and we headed out to pick up my older child from school.<br />
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I am impressed at my kid, pedaling what amounted to twelve blocks of distance. It was his first real extended ride and it's pretty obvious he is born to it. Of course there were a couple of rest stops, some jumped curbs. And after we picked up my older girl and our young neighbors, <span style="font-size: large;">the ride became more like an episode of Jackass</span>, especially between my son and the neighbor boy, who together at ages three and four are already adept at ramp jumping and have come up with some extremely bad ideas involving swinging large sticks and ingesting non-traditional sources of protein. <br />
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My experience was more <span style="font-size: large;">a series of sprints</span> than a regular jog, but as the boy becomes used to open spaces and I get him a bike with larger wheels, then I can see some real possibility for a full out extended run. <br />
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Yay! <span style="font-size: large;">Aren't wheels great?</span><br />
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I was thinking that I'd throw both kids' bikes into the truck later today and pop down to the high school track. Then I can keep my eye on them while we all go our own pace. <br />
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Round and round.<br />
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Happy. Charity Indietuteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13517919253368724623noreply@blogger.com0